Judging, Loving, and Judging about Loving

Oky HERE in my last post (and specifically in number 3) about a book I am reading I made the case for a baker and showing love to others especially those in the Gay community. Here is a question were the actions of a Christian baker who refused to make a wedding cake for a lesbian couple right?



 It stemmed from a debate within a small group not of my own but where it was asked of my thoughts. I didn't give any (granted to opportunity to was short since they continued in giving their points haha). I was still processing mine. And, once processed, I gave mine on the last blog post. Well, God presented Himself and HIS thoughts in a wonderful quiet manner. By the random choosing of James 4.

James 4:11-12

"Brothers, do not slander one another. ANYONE who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping i, but sitting in judgement on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you-- who are you to judge your neighbor?"

When James is addressing specifically Jewish Christians throughout, the family of believers; brothers and sisters in Christ. The "law" is the law that as a Christian we are to follow, the law God has set before us....Love.  If we are to judge a brother or sister in Christ for what they did especially if it is on the matter of loving others then we ourselves are not loving them! We have yet again become hypocritical, selfish, prideful, beings who think that we have the right to decide whether the baker's actions were right. (Me included btw...) its so natural to form our own opinions on what is Christian love suppose to look like and make sure that they know it. We can find MULTIPLE Scriptures, view points, and anecdotes on the matter but in essence God is the Judge of the Law. He is the maker of the Law, he has the right to judge. We however do not. We however let lose our tongues on our brothers and sisters, and judged horrifically, in the most unloving of ways. To our own family.  (this is not to say we are free to judge those not of our spiritual family! not at all!!)

So the answer to the baker refusing service to the couple who is gay? there is none, it is not our place to simply talk about and judge her actions for we are just as unloving as the judgments we made about her...

How are we to act in those situations I am not sure... I am sure the response of James 4:11 is sufficient enough to say I do not want to take part in the conversation and we need to assess our own actions. Are we loving her as well as loving the other side?


Thank you God for your quiet and perfect timing. Only when my mind was open, my heart was at ease do You speak and show me so much truth and areas of growth. God, please take my lesson from this morning and guide me in applying it to all my words, actions, and especially thoughts! Control my tongue, control my actions and give me the desire of the Spirit.  Thank you again God! In love, You show me how to Love!

Amen.

Jesus > Religion chapter 3

The fakes, fundamentalists, and hypocrites of Christianity. This chapter explained all three, what they looked like, and people act or respond as such. While reflecting on my own college experience I saw them all. I saw the "weirdo" yelling at others, telling them they are going to hell for partying, drinking, playing sports even. I was friends with the hipsters that are the younger "reverse-fundamentalist" of our generation, and I saw the stereotypical fundamentalist that twisted verse after verse, Greek and Hebrew meaning that showed that the water in wine was not really wine and thus should not drink alcohol. Yet again rules are not how you get into Heaven and the party above, but the focus was on the self-righteous, know all the answers, who is more than happy to speak first about who God is. They have the hardest time having a personal relationship with God because they think they are already wtih God and earned a place with Him. I am that person. I am not the reverse-fundamentalist...infact I kinda picked at the Christian Hipsters, however I was and still am more focused on Christian individualism/freedom than Christian Unity.
     Jeff references the parable son and shows the true reason for Jesus sharing the story with the Pharisees! not the people, not for the son who left but for the older son who was mad and the invite the father offers to him. God is offering the same party for those who are lost and now saved to those who were with God but too focused on their works to see the love God has for them and join in the joyous celebration of others! That is Chrisitan Unity... Sinners and self-righteous, broken and legalist, enjoying each others company, being friends, having a great time.... Honestly, seems impossible, thankfully God is beyond the realms or worries of meeting social norms, rules, or social physics!

1. Jeff the author would admit that he sometimes clings to religious rules or dead orthodoxy rather than living faith. What about you?
1. I agree to that. I grew up with rules, communion, daily morning quiet times, etc. actually while reading through this the idea to have communion during our wedding came to me. However, other than the personal, individualistic quiet minute or two of reflecting on God is that really living faith? So I do the exact same thing, i cling to rules, patterns, and traditions because that is safe and I feel I am a good Christian girl.  
2. Why do you think some rules--such as prohibitions against alcohol, swearing, and tattoos--are given more weight in religious circles than caring for the poor and downtrodden?
1. Some how people see Christians as that, non-swearing substance-free, clean and straight-laced people. I mean the bible is a giant rule-book right? (sarcasm) however even those with prestigious religious degrees do the same...why? because they believe our actions speak louder than words...which is true but i think showing love and grave to EVERYONE speaks louder than going AGAINST cultural norms (if they are even cultural norms). In a song i hear on the radio it says "they only know what we are against not what we are fighting for when we judge the wounded." People are more vocal about what is WRONG with someone than what they hope for. 
3. Has the general Christian response to the gay community shown mercy, justice, and faithfulness?
1. very very rarely. only in a few instances have I seen love-filled signs for people being beaten. I personally have battled with my feelings towards the gay community. They are people. A recent debate was brought to my attention by those in my church family. A local baker refused to make and decorate a wedding cake for a gay couple. The fight: was she right to do that or was she wrong and hateful. Here are my thoughts... What if the baker refused the same cake to a murderer, a child molester, someone with HIV, a Jew, a Muslim, a Christian, a "Test-tube" child, an alcoholic, a sailor (idk she doesn't believe in fishing in the water), an oil driller (she doesn't like drilling for oil), there is the problem, she is refusing a cake and a decoration to a title placed on the person and not decorating the cake for the person or in this case couple. Yes any business has the right to refuse services however services refused shows the intend, moral definitions, and love to their customers. What would be an example of living the faith? Refusing service because of your values and believes (very strong and shows integrity even if backlash will be given) or welcoming in the couple and getting to know them as people, make a relationship, and designing a cake as desired (could also be shown as weak and wavering in your faith in some communities to accept and cater to their wants). I honestly believe the second is living of the faith. Isn't Christian Unity allowing others to see your joy even if they are not Christian yet? idk an idea...
4. The author states "Heaven isnt a place for people scared of hell; its for people who love Jesus." What is your understanding of Heaven?
5. A huge fun wonderful party where I will be able to talk to EVERYONE and hear their stories, hear about God's grace over and over again. I get to meet so many people freely! maybe that is childish but it excites me! That's what I like about parties is meeting people! (My poor future husband will not be able to keep track of me in Heaven haha)


6. If the kind of people you attract and repel reveals the authenticity of your faith, how are you doing?
1. this is tough because people who have no faith in Jesus can attract and repel people just as easily as any Christian. I feel I attract everyone and anyone, mostly because I open myself up to them. I always have, I was the girl in school, college, and in church who would only be able to hang out and talk for a few minutes because there are other groups of people I want to say hello and talk to. I would bounce from group to group to group.... (that is something I have to manage because then I sacrifice quality for quantity....i just want to be friends with everyone...)
7. In the parable of the two sons, the father wants both to enjoy the party. Are you more likely to resist or take part? 
1. i would probably resist. My jealousy and pride for those accepted and loved even after what they did would be hard to swallow and over come. Then I would selfishly wallow in self-pity and grow my little green monster. Truthfully, it would be very hard at first to join.

There is much work I can do BE a better Christian, or I should focus my efforts on being with God and actually conversing with Him. Some days I'm tired of trying, thankfully, its not much work to sit in silence and listen for God.

Jesus > Religion Chapter 2

This chapter was a great discussion and look into brokenness and Jesus's ability to heal this as well as how Jesus should be presented to those who truly need to hear the love story of Jesus. 

1. Jeff describes the brokenness he saw as an RA at his college but he only saw it when the individuals reached their breaking points, were very drunk, or even tried to commit suicide. What drives us to keep our brokenness hidden from others, and what does that cost?
1. I know what drives me to hide my hurts, brokenness, and past is my pride. I do not want to be seen as weak, broken, damaged, etc. I want to be seen as a successful, strong, healthy, wise woman ready to help the world. Hiding this costs me so much. I do not even share my brokenness with even my strongest Christian friends who, I know, would be directed by God to encourage, love, and assist me. The cost is great. I try to manage my pain and hurts without truly giving it to God. The stress builds and I look back at all I am as a person which is disgusting and could not see how people can love me. It is selfish, prideful, but painful. Thinking this over it softens my heart to those who may brag or hide their life story and seem overly put-together, those who would at first seem annoying truly need love too. 
2. Jeff writes "My generation is the most fatherless and insecure generation that's ever lived, ans we are willing to sacrifice everything if we can just be told we are loved." Do you agree with this assessment?
1. Yes! I could go on about the influences on the media but even in the home life we are told to get good grades, punished if not, behave and be rewarded or punished if not. In some families I can see where the child has to be amazing at something (school or a talent) in order to get attention. If the child can not find his or her amazing attention grabbing skill then the second best way to get the attention from their parents is through trouble. It is sad to think that attention, though negative is sought after because attention is better than nothing. Love is portrayed in families, in media, in our sinful hearts, as a reward for being good and doing something special. 
2. I am so thankful for my parents where actions and hard-work is achieved but we were and are loved for simply trying and being passionate about it. We were encouraged and blessed to be given many opportunities to develop ourselves for our sake and not to please and gain love from our parents. I have noticed in the past and currently how often friends, myself included, would go through a store, a magazine and compare the model to themselves. To gain attention of other is to some how feel loved even though it is fleeting and not a long term love.
3. Why do you think Christianity's essence has devolved to "hates gays, cant drink beer, and no tattoos" in the minds of so many? Is this the result of the institutional church, individual Christians, or something else.
1. I do not truly know, I think there is a mix of all three parties involved in this mindset. First individual Christians may be lazy and simply follow the idea and theology of an institutional church. However Satan probably knew that the best way to prevent people from coming to Christ is to make them believe the opposite of what Christ stands for...love. Satan was probably at work modelling some of the ideas of the institutional church as well as individual Christians into being lazy in exploring the real, personal aspects of who Jesus and God are. Some individual Christians are content with going to church once a week and that is all the "exploration" they have of God. So many viewpoints, messages, true meanings of who Jesus is are missed. So I think ultimately Satan was at work and impact not only those who are not Christians but Christians themselves (me included.)
4. How has the Christian faith been more about good advice rather than good news in your experience?
1. The bible has always been presented as a guide book to me. "Use the bible to answer tough life questions. Here is a verse for this problem or this emotion or for this event." THis is not bad at all and I think the bible should be used as such but we must remember how each applies to the sacrifice Jesus made for everyone. I think many people consider the bible as a moral code to follow. Idk how it has gotten to the point other than the marketing and superficial focus on the ten commandments... 
5. If relationship with Jesus is the new law, how does that influence your understanding of rules or expectations within the Christian faith communities? Does it shift your understanding about an external code?
1. I love hearing sermons and realizing that some pastors are not simply stating rules to live by but how the good news fits in with an issue. This shows that expectations are not hard guidelines of you must complete a laundry list of tasks but another support for Jesus's love for us and His plan for our lives. The external code is not important for me or anyone newly excepting Christ. In fact I would simply encourage a new Christian to read through the gospel and create a list of who Jesus is based on his actions, his presentation of love, his words etc. not on what a Christian should do but who they are believing in and to be able to describe who Jesus is. I feel like seeing who Jesus is, the love He has for everyone, and the acceptance of everyone will only motivate him or her to dive in deeper into who Jesus and God really are and only grow their faith stronger. 
2. When I was younger and talking to friends about Christ I use to think that they would need to change multiple aspects of their life to be a follower of Jesus. That is not the case any more! as described above.
6. Jeff claims he hates any system that promotes moral behavior as only way to have a proper relationship with God
1. I agree, kinda as I stated above. God, Jesus, and the Bible is not a moral code to be accepted. Only believing in Him would lead to being one with God and the Holy Spirit. By promoting moral behavior, there is a growth in the feeling of righteousness, pride, and accomplishment for DOING things right. That is not a relationship. 
7. How is Jesus portrayed in the Gospels different from the Jesus promoted by religion?
1. That depends on what religion you learn about Jesus from. I have seen Jesus portrayed as a fire and brimstone man to the other extreme as my friend and home-boy Jesus. To me, after reading through the gospels, see's Jesus as a man of integrity, truth, love, patience, hope and peace. A man who is not just a friend but a father-figure ready to guide but his love on me is not determined by my actions. I truly believed Jesus loved Judas and was sad and heart-broken by his actions but still loved him for Judas was still God's creation. I think what amazes me is that...Jesus had every right to cut down and talk terribly about Judas and his actions against him, however Jesus was most vocal and brutal to the priests, pharisees and other righteous prideful individuals. 
8. If God doesnt want rule-followers, what does he expect from us as believers in Jesus?
1. I think he expects our heart and our time. Our attention on Him so that he can teach us, love us and help us. Just like ANY relationship, time and an open heart will only grow the relationship stronger. How to do that is your personal choice. I have realized that it varies greatly from person to person.

I think the picture of the Egg above is true. Brokenness, though painful, is what truly is used for the Glory of God. Without being able to truly see and feel the love and purpose of God's ultimate sacrifice how can we help and explain how God heals other's brokenness? Rules wont help, Jeff in his book tried that for six months, covering and numbing the pain only lasts but so long as seen through Jeff's college peers, and putting other's down only increases the pain they feel. God's ultimate blessing (GRACE) is seen and felt through acceptance and loving of the broken person. 

Jesus > Religion Chapter 1

My (now) fiance are going through this book title Jesus > Religion (Jesus is greater than religion) by Jefferson Bethke. SO far, he reminds me of Francis Chan and Crazy Love. I loved that book and the thoughts/beliefs/methodology that guides him.

This blog post and those that follow with this title are my answers to the study questions after each chapter for my fiance and I to read and discover electronically. He is answering the same questions on his blog 

I have yet to read his blog until I finish this post for fairness so I am uncertain on how he has introduced, written, or even answered the questions...We have such different writing personalities in general so enjoy our differences, discoveries, and any similarities you find!

Note: all of these answers are opinions and that they are my thoughts and I do not claim any of these thoughts to be 100% accurate, 100% applies to everyone etc.

1.  The author (Jeff) opens the book with this statement "My true religion was just moralism dressed in Christian clothes," What do you think he means by that and where do you see things in your life where you might see this?
1. Jeff is saying that what he "believed was a guide book to what is right and what is wrong in terms of actions and what you can do. Dressed in Christian clothes is Jeff claiming (or claimed) the title of Chrisitanity to say his views on what is right and what is wrong came from a popular source. The focus was on actions and doing what was right, correct, and good.
2. This was pretty much my life growing up. Being a church child and growing up in the church "doing good" and "being the good church girl" was a focus and goal to reach. Sunday school lessons were on not lying, being nice to friends, the ten commandments etc. My parents pushed us to church. I still see evidence of this dressed up distorted moralism when I think about friends who say they are christian not going to church, or my need to have a quite time with God not to enjoy my time with God but to just check off a spot on the list of things I have to do. 
2. How has Christianity been the default option for you in your life? (aka how is Chrisitianity a safety net for you?)
1. Two reasons: Christian parents and Southern Bible Belt. EVERYONE is a Christian and if you were not kids popular or not will ostracize you and try to tell you how you are going to hell. Me personally was because my parents were, however, looking back, people simply assumed. I did accept Christ at a young age and rededicated my life to Christ with a fresh perspective on him and my sin my sophomore year of high school. It was default because of my family as guides and leaders, default because of my area, and default because no one ever asked.
3. Jeff's mom admitted to him that she was a lesbian, Jeff gave up on God and rebelled. He stated that this rebellion was like drinking salt-water and never quenching your thirst. Have you ever tried to quench a thirst bu realized you were at the wrong source? 
1. Tough.. is this literal or spiritual? haha spiritually yes, twice actually. The first time was when I was dating my ex-boyfriend. This was near the end of our relationship and we were having a difficult time working out what was going on with him (sudden severe onset of OCD) and my feelings and stress. I searched out my pastor, my campus minister's wife, books, parents, my spiritual mentor. Anything to re-amp my commitment to him. However, I would come away more depressed and confused as ever. The thirst for happiness and being loyal in a relationship was never quenched until I had said my final good-bye (a three month process). I finally found peace and joy in the solitude, being with God, and now focusing on small groups and friends. The second time was during my internship at NY, I visited one church and one church only, I could not form a church family there and i desired to have one even for the three months i was visiting. I figured skyping with friends, talking about the bible with my fiance (at that time boyfriend), and bible time with my best friend would satisfy the physical support from a church family. It did not, i simply pushed through those three months until I moved to Toledo to begin gradschool. 
4. Why is the fear of silence the greatest fear for many in our culture, especially young adults? 
1. I challenged my fiance to spend 5 mins a day for week in silence. I sadly got three out of seven days of silence in. Its a discipline worth developing though. Just sitting in utter silence on the couch, emptying my mind, its freeing and refreshing. The fear comes from the uncomfortable-ness we get. We are bombarded with noise. TV, youtube, snap chats (though not noise distraction from our thoughts), music in the stores, music while we study, etc. The fear I think comes from the uncomfortable-ness of silence. Whether from awkwardness of doing nothing, the feeling that you MUST be doing something or the fear of thoughts that may come into your head. The thoughts of a broken undealt with past and resulting present moment. I think the fear of silence varies for each person. Mine: the amounts of tasks on my to-do list ready to be tackled.
5. Have you ever interpreted the Bible as a love letter? 
1. Yes, multiple times and in many different fashions. Honestly, I have never literally read the bible and thought of it as a love letter, but through use of other books, works of art, poems, fad sayings, I saw the bible as a love letter. I saw Jesus as the beautiful, peaceful, loving holistic/hippe Jesus (which not BAD and false just not entirely an accurate picture), and was unmotivated by reading the bible itself. Any romantic girl looking for love through a man would accept any book or passage that enforced the idea of Jesus being the lover of a life-time as a prince writing letters to you. 
6. Describe the real Jesus.
1. My first reaction.... Can I? Do I really know the real Jesus? This book just took the man Jesus I thought knew and created an image of a military Sargent preparing his troops for a battle. The focus on seeing the world for what it is and the sin that exist and our assignment to show people how this force is more amazing and fulfilling than any other methods to quench a thirst is my current image. So honestly I am not confident in describing the real Jesus.
7. The author stated that Christianity has become a financial industry. In what ways have you experienced this. Have you ever experienced Christianity rising above the consumer-driven culture?
1. CHRISTMAS TIME! the most consumer-ed filled holiday marked by decorations arriving in October, and meeting the "dreams of your child" for the best overly hyped up morning on which Jesus was born in a manger in a feeding trough probably, covered in hay and dirt. (How sanitary) 
2. Have I experienced the true meaning of Christianity rising above consumer culture? The Christmas store. Here the lady spent months and hours putting together a "shop" of donated new items for families who had very little could give their children a Christmas and be provided for. While this lady helped meet the desires of consumerism in some children, she met the needs of the families during a time of year when people are most focused on themselves. She made sure the families and those in need were of the utmost importance during this time of year sacrificing both time and money. Other than that, the time Christianity rises above consumerism is not during the holidays but in time of personal need I feel like.
8. Have you ever been resistant to believing God's plan might include discipline for your life? How might God use trials to help you become more like Jesus.
1. I have read the book The Good and Beautiful God, which emphasizes the use of disciplines to see who Christ is first before becoming more like Him. So I think it is true but that does not mean I am not resistant to discipline or events in order for growth.The disciples had trials and challenges, they left everything for Jesus! That takes discipline to stay focus and committed to a life-changing experience even before you truly understood who Jesus was. 
2. My friends and I laugh about God teaching us patience through the use of challenges, people, and events in which patience is needed for the best possible outcome. Trials vary from person to person because God's revelation through a trial or event is personal. 
9. Why do Christians focus more on supposed acts of righteousness rather than the needs of others?
1. My first thought, laziness and pride. What  is easier? to put someone down and raise yourself up in successes by words, or to use your time, energy and money to assist someone in need. Actually I heard from a friend (who read from Screwtape Letters, C.S Lewis) that the demons convince people to give to those in other countries so they feel they are helping people but it only causes more hate between neighbors because of the personal connection. Idk if I did that justice.... I can honestly say that I have avoided contact with some friends due to the needs they have and the possibility of me spending my time and energy to help them if asked... that was more laziness. Pride comes when you see yourself as above others and others need correction not help.

This is not a study question but one I discovered. Jeff stated that Jesus is coming to make war!! Does this change or support your current view of Jesus?

     I feel this image could actually support the personality and who God is in the OT and NT! There is a spiritual warfare going on and I have only scratched the surface of the seriousness and extend of this war... This has changed my view of who Jesus is greatly as I mentioned in a previous question.

This book will be a wonderful eye opener, and learning tool for me.

"There is so much freedom and life in no longer defending or molding Jesus to our own liking, and just letting him be who he says he is--a cultural iconoclast who makes it difficult for any of us to put him in our nice, cute, and tidy 'Christian' box."



3/7/14 EDIT: So I driving a lovely 7.5 hour drive to my fiance's apartment and I thought about this post. How confusing it is to think of Jesus as a military leader but not one focused on rules....The military is all about doing, and doing it 100% accurate. I was thinking more in the sense of a military or boot camp sargent training people for battle. While actions are graded and judged, I feel Jesus and God provides these training opportunities to grow and develop us. It is NOT easy, it should NOT be a relaxed task, but ultimately you will be "graded" on whether you have accepted Jesus into your heart and believe that he was the perfect and ONLY sacrifice for your sins. And if you passed that portion of the test then Boot Camp (though tough and painful) will end with an A+ (or however they grade, judge people).

Idk if that clears up my point or only dirties the water further...

Wedding Dreams and Bells?

WARNING, this post is more whining, sad, extrovert method for ranting and processing thoughts...


I am engaged!! I am engaged to a wonderful, caring, wise, fun, Christian/God-focused man! I will be one-day living with him, being a team with him, serving God together, learning and helping each other grow together. We will be travelling, making plans, making a home! I will be taking his last name to be mine!

This is exciting! This is new and HUGE step in the direction God has planned for us. However, I am not excited anymore. Just within two weeks, the stress, tears, and knots of getting married have consumed me. I have a laundry list of why this is.....
1) the cost of venues, catering, etc. needs to fit into our budget
2) my mind is focused on making the occasion wonderful...I have visions of my granny comparing this to Nick and Leanne's wedding, ppl being bored and feel like th trip to come to the wedding was a waste of money, and none of my close friends being able to make it....
3) My dream of wearing my mom's dressed was crushed when we tried it on and I was too big. I was further frustrated and the evil head of jealousy came when my sister tried it on and (of course) looked AMAZING in the dress. (I am truly excited that she get to wear the dress, just disappointed her and I couldnt wear it together...
4) The overwhelming amount of details that I feel like Im trying to fit into short time frames when I have over a year to plan for...

and the list goes on....

I thought being engaged would be fun, exciting, a process that Jeff and I get to enjoy with our familys together....I am not having fun, I am not excited anymore and I see Jeff and I already being torn apart bit by bit. My stress is transferring to him. My focus on me getting this event perfect is only harming me. I have multiple doubts about my maturity and readiness to be a fiance and wife. I miss the beginning stages of our relationship, when we were fun, lighthearted, not stressed. Jokes and laughter came easy, conversations would last for hours on end without a care about the tiredness we'd feel the next day.

I feel like I HAVE to take this on... I don't HAVE to do anything, I know that. but I do. I have taken on wedding venue hunting with my family, trying to see what would work with my Dad's budget, watching him squirm when he crunched numbers, Its not fun. I just want a fun simple wedding with the beautiful mountains. I LOVE mountains. They are so beautiful, huge, I feel like I can explore in them for hours and see a new world and my parents live in them!

I feel like that is what the bride is suppose to do, manage the planning, fitting it into her daddy's wallet and the stereotypical guy sits back and lets her plan all he has to do is pick the best man and show up.... however where did I get this view from? None other than the media, movies, tv shows.... not from the truth. The source I believe destroys relationships, marriages, friendships, and families.

I want a break, I just want to hang out with my family, I want to go for a hike, I want to relax. This is my last spring break I am spending it stressed and in tears 50% of the time. (I have always cried when stressed, sad, angry, jealous, any uncomfortable emotion... ) Actually, right now Im going to see if mom wants to call of wedding dress shopping and go see a movie, go hiking, or something...not wedding related...

Im back... we are not sure exactly what we are doing but we are going to Bucks tomorrow and I am calling off the David's Bridal appt.!  Mom and I talked for an hour. I am so thankful for her, we talked about my distortion on the wedding, my fiance's tough needed love and communication, my worries and emotions. These emotions are not suppose to happen for wedding planning.... not at all... she confirmed that in me. I am taking a break from wedding planning for awhile. She strongly suggestion I sift through my emotions and what God is telling me through them. I am excited for our day tomorrow and a day to breath.. A day that afterwards would be fun to share with my fiance online. :)

I should go to bed. it is way past my bedtime and a tired mind never does the heart any good.
Three things are for sure:
1) I love God
2) I love my Fiance
3) I desire a totally stress free process one dependent on God's provision, timing, guidance, and love.