Building a Walker for Ice Skating

This will be my longest post EVER! and hopefully I will get this done in decent amount of time.
 The final result will be share on Monday.

First of all, every Sunday for the past month I have been volunteering at Gliding Stars in Toledo, (http://glidingstars.org/index.html)  which is an adaptive ice skating program. I love it! I have been paired up with a variety of fun children and adolescents to help teach ice skating techniques and moves for the ice performance. There is this one adolescent that my friends and I have taken note of. He has out grown his walker considerably to the point where he can not move his legs effectively and the seat, for a boy, is not very comfortable at all! It is a bike seat changed with straps in the front and back but the bike seat was meant for a child, not a 5'7'' growing man.

I will insert Pic here soon. of original walker...

My friends and Home Depot have taken on the challenge to build this young man a new ice skating device so he could actually use his legs and push him self. I am still unsure the amount of disclosure I am allowed. He has considerable amount of spasticy  in his UE. Measurements we took included his amount of pronation (unable to reach neutral position) shoulder flexion, wrist flexion and extension, current position of ulnar or radial deviation in wrist, abduction of shoulder, as well as height, weight, and length of all body segments. While visiting the skater, we discussed needs such as where he has most control, where he lacks good muscle coordination, ability to hold self, the necessity of a seat and personal goals of the young man.

after searching for a walker through multiple organizations and companies, we came across a design online with PVC pipes

Specifications

Weight	41 lbs.
Weight capacity	250 lbs.
Top frame inside width	19.25"
Top frame outside width	29.5"
Bottom frame inside width	22"
Bottom frame outside width	26"
Armrest width	5"
Armrest height range	39.25" - 59.25"
Overall length	4

So this seemed like a great option for our skater! After discussing the idea and design with multiple people who have experience with compensation equipment (adaptation is a change to one's developmental structure such as learning or increasing endurance. Compensation is the use of an atypical object to achieve a desired outcome. You can experience adaptation with compensation by learning how to use it, but the object itself is compensation not adaptation..so technically you do not acquire home adaptations but home compensations), we made modifications and design measurements that we believe will fit the skater and purpose of why we are building it. We narrowed the top of the walker to account for his lack of Abduction and well as utilizing his spasticy to assist with holding himself up straight. 

The following pics shows the progression of building the walker. THANK YOU HOME DEPOT!! 

The back!

 Utilizing his old walker armrests. He out grew his walker but the armrest were still usable!

Before the narrower top.

<-- font="font" size="3" style="font-weight: normal;">Narrowing the top required Home Depot skill!

 How he will enter in through the back.

About how/where he will sit

Problem with bowing

 Problem fixed!

 TA-DA! The finished product

Keeping swinging bars closed

Angle of arm rests allows for amount of pronation. Due to the possibility of growth and needing to re angle arm rests. instead of gluing, we screwed in the poles that will need to be adjusted.

 Spray painting it his favorite color dark blue. :)

The home depot team!

Total Time: 4.5 hours

Supplies used: Five 10-foot 3/4 inch PVC pipes, multiple 45 degree angles, 19 three-ways, 6 four-ways.

Price online: $850

Estimated price including $10/hr for labor: 

$255

 we will say $350 including tools and if they want a raise 

Tib-bits on the Radio

Here are some snip-its of what I heard on the radio driving back from the gym I thought I'd share.

1) The key to a thriving marriage is confrontation/never avoiding emotions and investing in each other

2) The Chinese symbol for listening is made up of three symbols: eyes, ears, and an open heart.


Think about these two points.

Have a great day!

Politics in the Old Testament

 1 Samuel 8:19-20 "We want a king over us. Then we will be like all the other nations with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles."
1 Samuel 8:7 "The Lord told him (Samuel) 'listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king."

YAY!!! The election is over with and yet the comments from both parties and the war of opinions still rages on.... I made a commitment this election season to make sure not to put political opinions, ideas, or news stories about either president on facebook. That is not needed. If anyone is curious about my opinions just come and ask. I will wait to speak.

But here I am sitting and resting with God and was about to read 1 Samuel 17 when a question came to my mind. How did the people view rulers in the old testament...especially in the beginning. Israel  has just begged God for a king, Samuel annointed their first ruler and Saul started setting precedents for what a king should do other than the recommendations set out by God (Deut. 17:14-20)... I am sure people had their own ideas, their opinions, their voice in what Saul should do. Most wanted a king like other nations but why? What did they want? What is the difference between a King and God?

What did they want? Why did they want a king?

• (1 Samuel 8:5) While at first they use Samuel's age and his unwise, disciplined sons as an intial excuse. I believe their true reasons for wanting a king is to be like the other kingdoms/nations. (1 Sam.8:20). 
• (1 Samuel 8:21) "A king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles." They want protection. They want someone else, a leader to fight for them. 
• Maybe other underlying intentions to have a king but here are the main two I have found.

One point I want to focus on is the desire to "be like all the other nations." Yet again Why do they want to be like the other nations? Loving the "why" questions today. Do they feel the other nations have it better than they do. Do they feel the other nations are stronger because of a king? I see this in our present day as well especially in regards to health care reforms, social ideas, etc. Its quite interesting how  I feel this pattern arises all too frequently in the bible and even now. (my opinion and it could easily be wrong, a hypothesis rather than a theory) A nation with strong values and beliefs in one focus, succeeds from an oppressive power. While holding on their own and becoming successful based off their original values, they and following generations do not feel the need to hold on to those as tightly as the previous people due to the lack of confrontation or oppression once felt. Soon the feelings, and meanings behind such values and ideas are mingled, confused, forgotten, and/or ignored completely. Then the country changes and is destroyed, captured, or turned into chaos. See how the Israelite's after having God and even a physical article, lead them into battle with victorious results over and over again, they still feel other's ideas are best. I believe I can even hear them speak now "Well they have a army. We should have an army too! It worked for them, They have lived like that for ____ number of years so it obviously is a good idea." Then ideas keep rolling and before they know it they have forgotten the meaning and value which held them together and protected them and provided for them. They have rejected and forgotten about God (in present times I wonder what is a nation's believe or value that is being or has been rejected/forgotten?)  Even after the warnings given to them by God (1 Samuel 8:10-18) about people working/serving him, utilizing the people for his own personal service, forcefully taking a tenth of your grain (yay taxes) and the people will become slaves to him, they still want a king, because protection from the outside by a human is better than protection from God and being free. Obviously, not literal "slaves" (though in some countries is it sadly true) but consider how you and everybody throughout the world works for the government...

To continue on my point, how did people react during the new kings reign? How satisfied were they really? Did they feel their needs being met? Shortly after the start of King Saul's reign, war after war broke out between him and the Philistines. Shortly after they run out of weapons (1 Samuel 13:16-22)! Thankfully God brings them out and into victory. But does the people realize this? 

So what is the difference between a King and God in Israel. Wonderfully nothing, IF the king started by following God's guideline, His wisdom, and to be patient to wait on His word.

A man ruled by God, rules like God.

What was your family, culture, nation founded on, or believe? What does your family, culture, nation believe now? Has the change been good (it could easily be reversed as shown multiple times in the OT where they turn back to God and their values and were blessed)? Reflection is key and being strong against the ideas of the popular vote is true courage and strength.

<3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">

Advantages of ALMOND MILK

Here is something you may or may not know about me. I am lactose intolerant! I can relate to the lovely digestive fun experienced by dairy products like lattes, milkshakes, cheese. Most people do not realize this because I LOVE CHEESE and will eat anything dairy without consideration. Dairy lovers unite! The only thing I do consistently avoid is regular milk. I have, since middle school i believe, enjoyed lactose-free milk. Many people have suggested soy milk but I never really enjoyed it.... Just this year I have discovered Almond Milk! I LOVE IT! for those searching for a lactose-free alternative I highly suggest ALMOND MILK!

Reasons why ALMOND MILK ROCKS

1. Its lactose-free
2. cheaper than lactose free milk (store brand)
3. only 60-70 calories depending on the brand
4. ITS SOO CREAMY!
5. Great for cooking! muffin mixes are so fluffy now!
6. No estrogen which is found in soy milk
7. it has a slight flavor of almond to it which is similar to vanilla which is yummy!

So to my gaseous friends and dairy-phobic sufferers! Almond Milk is a great alternative!

<3 div="div">

Presidential Debates and Isaiah

Isaiah 61:1-2, The Spirit of the sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness the prisoners to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God to comfort all who mourn...

For those who watched the 2nd presidential debate, you may have the same feelings/thoughts as I do. Both provided ambiguous answers, both at times avoided the issue completely, and both have made promises out of their control! Overall the debate provoked a wide varitey of feelings and none of which were happy, hopeful feelings. Feelings of worry, hurt, confusion, anger, disgust, and most of all frustration. Both Canidates did not provide me with the answers I wanted to hear. Not that I wanted them to agree with me, no I wanted straight forward answers no matter what they were. Both provided history and broad/vague plans that will make America look like a growing country, a country of "opportunity."

My definition of voting currently: Choosing a person for a form of office, in which you have hope that this person will do something.

I wonder how selfish this can be though? As people, when we vote, what are we looking for? More security in our future? Ways to increase the money in our pockets? ending future wars? changing policies foreign or domestic? reforming health care? Some sound like great motivation, some I wonder about selfish desires. I want the government to do this for me!I deserve this! Do we really?

Oky back to Isaiah. My friend Kendra suggested to me (as a way to help me grow in my relationship with Christ) that we meditate on a scripture for one week, every morning and every night and see how it related to our day or what God may show us. So I did after the debate I pulled out my notecard with the verse mentioned above and then God spoke to me!  Here is an excerpt of my journal from late last night, while ideas and thoughts rushed around in my head:

IDK who to vote for! I was frustrated that there is no clear choice for me, Thankfully I see my role! God, You dont want me to bogged down by politics but to understand You. That wisdom from Your Spirit will guide me. You want me to focus on showing people how You are the only one who can bring true joy in this time, You are the only one who can take the darkness of the future (gun policy, wars, economy, job loss, lies, deciet, manipulation) and turn them into hope and light by directing our attention on You and our true purpose in life--serving others to show Your love.
Politicians avoid issues, God faces them directly. Politicians are limited in power and control, God has control and power over all. God is the Sovereign Lord! Politicians change their platforms, ideas, how they talk because of the public's view; God stays the same no matter the public's perception. God doesnt even have to DEFEND who He is, even when people hold misperceptions of Him! Politicians need to earn people's vote and hope, God does not need ppl's faith  and love to be God. He has changed countries by using one person! (Elijah, Judges) God is God and we are men, and His Spirit is on  me! The same amazing power that does not need approval of others is on me! When a canidate said "Have hope in me" I felt worried, confused, uncertain as to where to place my hope. Now I know for certain: My hope and faith goes to the Holy Spirit inside of me which has a greater purpose than I will ever know and I am ready!

God, on of authority, You have chosen me to share the good news to Your creation, to free captives of political/earthly worries and show them the joy and hope that only comes from You! Let me be the official/ambassador that You want in your Cabinet!

When your battery has died...

Oh wow, its a super windy day with a change of thunderstorms and maybe even a tornado!! :) SWEETNESS (minus the cold...)!!

So as of recent...oky like for the past 5 months...maybe even longer, I've been simply losing motivation and desire to grow closer to God. If anything I have fallen back a bit. I still do my quiet times, though that was because of routine (until recently, i'll tell you later), but they do not seem as rewarding or as personal as it once was...It has been hard finding a church but should my relationship with God be based off my social life at a church? I feel my battery to grow and talk with God has died or is really low and IDK how to jump start it!

My wonderful boyfriend has been helping me and coming up with creative ways to try to move me to God. We are still going through the bible (We are in judges now!). He makes me (well he more suggests/encourages that I)  pray every night before we leave Skype. Encourages bible talk even when I dont "feel" like it. And I feel this has been a great help for me to simply not give up and wait for some AMAZING event to change me.

A relationship takes work and this is when a relationship gets hard. This is when I have to push through my lazy self and work to get to know who God is to me. I feel something has pushed or is pushing myself away from getting closer to God.

I am trying out another new church. I have been in Toledo since August and I still do not feel I have found the church for me. I have been church dating. HAhaha kind of funny sounding but true. Most of the time the dating/relationship ends after the "sit down and talk" stage. For me with anyone I was interested in having a relaitonship with, this would be sitting and encouraging them to talk. I would be listening, trying to see if I am really interested, if this guy has similar interests or believes, and if I could see another day with him. For most churches/guys the awkwardness of the first get together pushes me away without looking back. I love welcoming churches. The best way to see how welcoming a church really is, is to visit without a friend. By yourself! (thats dangerous when meeting a guy for the first time so I would not suggest that!) Since moving to Toledo I have been to churches with very welcoming people and some churches in which will ask you to change seats because their friends are going to sit there. That one hurt. Even after failure, time and time again, I still want to find a church. I have basically grown up in the church and I know the benefits of a community provided by the church. I am off to try another church!

One of those Marriage Quote

‎"God never intended marriage to make me happy. Marriage is to make me grow. And the best happy marriages in the world are the ones that make us grow. And then happiness is a byproduct and fruit of it. Unhappy people that are getting married to get happy--don't do it. It won't work." -Henry Cloud

Saw this on a friend's status and I loved it so much! I find it so true. and I can see the truth in it. If you are just getting married to be "forever happy" you are in for a surprise. Marriage requires work, effort, patience, and God-like love and grace! I am so thankful for God and His wisdom and example.  Just a quick post about a quote I really liked.

History Repeats Itself when one has Dementia

UPDATE FROM SCHOOL: I still love Occupational Therapy! I love the creativeness of it, I love the purpose and reason behind it and I love ALL different populations you can work with as an OT!


Oky so I just started my level 1 fieldwork which is basically observation hours with a little assistance here and there for three days and about 4 hours each day. My placement for my 1st fieldwork experience is at a nursing home close to town. If I haven't already mentioned in past posts, my DREAM placement is with children in pediatrics. Idk yet if I want to focus on special needs, or rehab, or what but I love children. In short, I am not super motivated to learn during my fieldwork hrs. I have, however, enjoyed seeing how ROM, and the glenoscapular rhythm play a role in occupations like dressing, reaching, bathing, ect. Well today while shadowing an OT assistant, she gave me a book to read about dementia. I made a commitment to myself to read this book by Monday. My last day was Monday and I wanted to give her a good impression. I thought this commitment was possible over the weekend since the book was only 86 pages long and she said how it was an easy read. I did not realize that I would read this book in about an hour and enjoy it as fully as I did!

The book: The Past is Now My Future  By Lanny D. Butler, MS, OTR and Kari k. Brizendine, PT

This book is about the seven stages of dementia and the abilities the still remain in each person. I highly suggest everyone read this book if only to get a small understanding of what a person going through dementia experiences. With this understanding, i feel, comes patience.

One focus that stuck with me was the need to look at the individual's past to understand their current actions.  the book give a whole list of examples and how their past related to their actions. So I will leave that as a surprise. It was amazing to see and relate how our long term memory and what we have learned in the past for long periods of time/useage remains during the majority of the stages (up to stage 7). Questions relating to their history maybe: What did they find meaning in? What was their career? How did they get ready everyday? how did they shower? How did they get dressed? How did they toilet? How did they sleep in their bed? How is their kitchen set up? is the trashcan under the sink, in the cabinet or behind a counter? Understanding habits/routines like this bring comfort and feelings of validation to people with dementia which results in so many blessings such as longer independence (less work for the caregiver). This book has challenged me to consider all of my habits through out the day with the "My Way" form included in the book. I will not share this personal information with you (DUH!) But I will give you the list of questions and choices from the form. The purpose of this form is to actually have a copy hidden somewhere. When/ if you become cognitively impaired the form provides the caregiver more of an understanding of your habits (habits such as dressing, showering, toileting are done alone and no one takes note as to how you use the bathroom...).

1. Sleep/Wake Cycle
• Time I usually arise
• Nap Times
• Time I usually go to bed
• Do I rely on a clock to wake me us?
• What time of alarm clock?
• My side of the bed is
2. Self-Care Routines (number the activities in the order you typically do them after waking up)
• Bathe
• brush my teeth
• comb my hair
• apply make-up
• dress
• eat breakfast
• make/drink coffee
• feed pets/animals
• take medications
• watch TV
• read the paper
• Shave
• journal, 
• bible time
• prayer
• use the toilet
• (other)
3. Bathing (check those that apply)
• Shower____Sponge Bath_____ Tub bath_____
• Morning___Afternoon____Evening_____
• Daily____Every other day____ once/week____Less than once a week____
• Wash rag___ Sponge___ Other_________
• I never use the same rag/sponge on face and groin/feet
• I never wash my face with the same water I sit in
• I brush my teeth in the shower
• I shave in the shower
• I bathe my bodily parts in this order (number them from first to last)
• arms
• feet
• groin
• back
• hair
• chest
• face
• legs
4. Toileting (check ur preferences)
• I do not use public restrooms
• I use the bathroom immediately upon arising in the morning
• I get up ___ times during the night to use the toilet
• I dont believe in wasting toilet paper
• I use lots of toilet paper
• I fold the toilet paper neatly before I use
• I shut the bathroom door before I use the toilet
• I need to sit awhile before I go.
• when I "get the urge" I have to go "NOW" 
• I read while I sit on the toilet
• I always stand when I urinate
5. Dressing/Undressing (Check your preferences)
• I sleep in the nude
• I sleep in my underwear
• I sleep in PJ's
• I sleep in a nightshirt or nightgown
• I stand when I dress
•  I sit when I dress
• I put my left/right arm into shirt-type garments first (pick a side)
• When putting on shirt-type garments, I put both hands in together and slip it over my head.
• I put my left/right foot into pants/skirts/ect first.
• I put my left/right shoe on first
• Females: I hook my bra in the front of my body and then turn it to the back
• Females: i hook my bra in the back
• Females: I dont wear a bra
• Females: I wear nylons
• Females: I always wear high-heeled shoes
• Males: I wear jockey style/boxer underpants
6. Eating (check what you like)
• I never eat breakfast
• I eat one food at a time and finish that food before i start another
• I place my food in a particular arrangement on my plate (such as meat at 12oclock, veggies at 3 o'clock)
• I feed myself with my left/right hand
• I prefer to sip/drink liquids before/during/after my meal
• I would gag if someone fed me
• I cannot eat if someone near me chews with his/her mouth open.
7. Occupation:
• I worked outdoors
• I worked indoors
• Number of years in my occupation ___
• Key elements of my job include:________--> 
8. Leisure/Hobbies
• I enjoy inside activities
• I enjoy outside activities
• I would rather participate in group activities
• I would rather participate in individual activities
• Circle your favorite type of activity: crafts, gardening, sports, reading, music, computer,drawing, building, fixing,TV, playing with animals, socializing
9. Assistive Devices
• Crutches
• cane
• walker
• braces
• splints
• corrective shoes
• wheelchair

Mowing the Lawn and a Summer Breeze

The title above doesn't sound all to bad. Working hard in the yard but having a nice cool summer breeze to assist you. Well, you obviously have not done much yard work if you think that! In renting a house one of the many responsibilities is mowing the lawn with what has been given to you to mow with. Thankfully I did not have to learn how to purchase a lawn mower. Not so thankfully I was blessed with a legit push lawn mower. You see, in the past I have helped my dad mow the lawns. He would drive the lawn mower and I would use the push mower. This was however 4 years ago and further into the past... The push mower at home was great for a tall lanky girl like me because you could control the speed of the motor that helped with the push. SOOOooo for fun you go as slow as you would like or you can push the speed so you are jogging around the lawn. Just picture it for a min. A tall girl with brown hair (pigtails or pony tail) jogging around the lawn with the mower. oky idk about you but i had a silly pic in my mind. :) 

ANYWAYS... I enjoyed the yard work. Im outside, being productive, helping my dad. Well here I am in a house where we take turns mowing the lawn. I stepped up to the plate to mow the lawn this weekend! I'm actually excited to contribute to the overall appearance of the house. So I go and spend 15 awkward confusing minutes figuring out how to start the mower...there is a primer button to push 3X, the string/cord you yank is by the handle, and, what I correctly guessed to be the lever to start the blades, was a simple 1/3 inch metal lever with a cord draping down to the engine. So I finally figure out that you have to push the primer 3X, then yank the cord WITH the metal blade starter pulled all the way back in order to start the engine. And off I go! 

sort of...

Like I said before this was a legit push mower... I had to push the little red grass eating machine over every bump, stick, root, dip, hill, ant hill, with as much effort as pushing a boulder up hill. Arms outstretched, legs stretched behind, pushing with all my might. Oky in all honesty I figured out that I could go backwards with the mower and the silly little pose of pushing a boulder uphill lasted only 1/3 of the yard HAHA. Once I figured out that i could steer the  mower by tillting the thing (it needs a name...) on the back wheels I was flying around the yard, at certain points, like in corners or around trees, I looked like a housemaid vacuuming the yard. You know forward at one diagonal, backward, forward at another diagonal, backward...

So back to the original topic! Mowing the lawn was not too bad and like I said before the addition of a summer breeze must have been nice... Maybe if there was a grass bag attached to the mower... but there was not. The lovely summer breeze took the lovely fresh cut grass and gently picked up the new clippings and threw it at my face with velocity and purpose! After another 15 minutes my whole right side, face, and front was covered in a variety of grass, dirt, weeds, and I think a candy wrapper (idk how!). Sooo in short I became quite filthy. 

One great thing about mowing the lawn is the ability to think:

1) Why do we mow lawns so frequently? is it from a social norm? it there much of a purpose? I understand not letting it get to the point of a jungle which attracts snakes, mice, frogs, bobcats, etc. 

2) why do people care so much about how their yard looks? our lawn has spots of pure weeds and dandelions. Why the focus on lawn beauty?

3)Why the effort to follow social norms if it makes us so dirty? 

4) What other social norms makes us dirty? literally or figuratively?

5) Why are we not as motivated to get dirty for something worth so much more such as God? Why are people afraid of getting out of their comfort zones and being vulnerable for God and spreading the Good News? Are they not the same people mowing lawns in their "wife beaters" white dirty shirts, becoming sweaty, not at all looking presentable yet outside for the world to see? 

I mow the lawn because it is an assigned chore for us to do and I love to contribute in anyway possible. I only want a place where people feel welcome to enter. Now I am settled and here in this house for a few years. I feel open and excited to see how God is going to use me. Where I need to go get dirty, because, as we noticed, getting dirty can create BEAUTIFUL results. How true is that?! Think literally with me: an artist covered in paint, a gardener covered in dirt, a mechanic working on cars covered in oil, I think we the list goes on and on if we think about it. A missionary in an orphanage, a woman helping at a pregnancy center, people serving at a soup kitchen, working/volunteering at a chemical dependency clinic. Im sure you can add to this.

Dirty actions can create beautiful results. And a summer breeze, though might feel good, will only make you dirtier... :P 

Kickboxing and toilets don't mix

So one advantage of my new school is the free workout classes I can take whenever they fit into my schedule! I have always wanted to try kickboxing and yoga classes and now I have the chance to try them multiple times!!  So this past Monday I got to experience Kickboxing first! And I loved it. So many squats, punches, kicks, and to fast paced music. I was already feeling the burn in my legs and buns by 3/4th of the class. Wow it was a great hour!... that's right an hour.... I honestly felt my cheeks pulsating and twitching in the afternoon... I was a little bit sore...

Well Tuesday morning comes along and I get up, fairly sore, and I head to the bathroom. I really did not notice how sore I really was until I tried to sit down on the toilet. Then the soreness hit me. or surprised me. I was so sore (in my thighs, butt, and arms) and sooo off balance from the shock of having problems sitting down on the low toilet that I started tilting sideways and forward off the toilet! And there I go about to fall when thankfully and fell against the wall sticking out from the shower instead of the floor. I used that helpful jut of wall to not only prevent face and shoulder from hitting the tile, but to also adjust myself back on to the seat....

Its not too often a workout results in both benefiting your body and health and causing dangerous/hazardous encounters with common household appliances. Either way I loved it, it was worth the entire day (Tues) of thigh and butt pain, and I cant wait to do it again!

More house-loving stories I'm sure will follow!

BEWARE OF BLEACH

This morning I made an oopsie...

First of all I have moved from an apartment in one state to a house in another state about to start grad school in Occupational Therapy! Whoop Whoop! So I am in a house with 3 other medical girls. I've only been here 4 days and so far we are getting along great!

So my oopsie. I took a shower this morning after my run. I got dressed for class and returned to the bathroom to blow dry my hair... and i noticed two things. 1) there is mildew on the shower curtain. 2) LOOK! Mildew cleaner!

So I spray some on the curtain thinking that all mildew cleaners were like the mildew cleaner I had at the apartment... Then I read the front of the bottle... Easy Scrub Mildew cleaner with BLEACH... and then i looked at my pants... 

sure enough I found three yellowish white splats/dots down the bottom half of one leg of my favorite long bootcut tan trousers... great. I was panicky at first and thought WATER! that will help... note to self: once bleached, always bleached. Water...of course...did nothing! Well poo bunnies! I basically thought to myself that these pants were ruined! then I went to the mirror... They weren't too bad...in fact in a casual way, kind of cool looking... I think i might spray an old pair of jeans with the cleaner... or add a few more drops to this pair... 

 What a way to turn bleach into Fashion! (strikes a pose in her chair) hahahaha!

oh and I discovered that I am too lazy to change but not lazy enough to sit down and write this... so Im just going to wear these to class! 

Model's life.... NOT FOR ME

Hey ladies! Ever wanted to be a Victoria Secret Model? Who wouldnt?! The fame, money, knowing you have a culturally defined "hot" body, the attention from everyone. Yea sounds really good doesn't it? Well even if you don't have the best "genes" you can still be a Victoria Secret Model! I found the secret and the truth as been revealed! SO now every woman around the world can be a Victoria Secret Model!!

http://shine.yahoo.com/fashion/victorias-secret-models-bizarre-and-dangerous-dieting-tricks-2615738.html

Talent is in my sisters blood

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLXgMeX-Mfo&feature=youtu.be

A Wicked Game cover sung by my talented sister Alicia.  I love her so much and God has granted her with an amazing gift!

Bored Boards!

Read previous post to better understand why this activity or creation can SAVE YOUR LIFE!! or just help with uncomfortable emotions and irrational actions later on.

You can do this in multiple ways here is my creative protocol on how to make a Bored Board. (my idea is not a board...)

Purpose: To decrease boredom and impulsive actions
Supplies:

• 20+ Popsicle sticks/tongue depressors
• a tin can 
• ways to decorate tin can! :) construction paper, fabric, jewels, stickers, markers, paint, hot glue gun, ect.
• sharpie

Steps

1. Make a list of 10 activities you can do and like to do. Think about the past week, what have you done recently? Think of types of activities: social, mental, physical, spiritual, emotional. They have to be accessible!!
2. After you came up with your ten look at the list provided there are SO MANY activities missing too. What activities can you do from that list, even if you are not in LOVE with that activity? try to come up with 10 more accessible activities.
3. Now with your list of 20 activities (more is great too!), write each activity on a Popsicle stick. So 20 Popsicle sticks with ideas and activities! 
4. now you finished writing out the activities that will take away boredom at any given moment. the 20 is so that you are free to chose! you don't have to draw one and do it, take time to pick :)
5. DECORATE YOUR TIN CAN or whatever is going to hold the Popsicle sticks. I think this is entertaining. You can make a simple cardboard sheet of paper with 20 activities scattered around so you can simply hang it up on the wall. If you have Pinterest, look up creative bored boards!!

This is great to make with kids. Then you have something to direct them too when they are bored! 

Ta-Da!   

HALT BS!!!

That's right HALT BS! this is important for everyone to do this! to be aware and HALT BS!!

Another DBT skill I have learned during this internship. Its not literally saying "stop your lies or crap." It is another acronym.
H-hunger
A-anger
L-lonely
T-tired
B-bored
S-scared

We have all felt all of these emotions, bodily functions and maybe all of them in one day! So whats so special about these words and the acronym HALT BS? It are the feelings that make us vulnerable. Make us weak. Typically out ugly side shows when we are experiencing these feelings! Who knows people who get grumpy on a diet? Who becomes dependent on others when scared? Who makes statements they claim they don't mean when they are mad. Who becomes depressed when they are lonley and hides away in their bedroom to watch TV? Who becomes emotional when they are tired? During these feelings we tend to release a side of us that could ultimately harm relationships and ourselves. Granted, I was educated on HALT BS during an educational inservice at a Mental Behavioral Health Unit but it applies to EVERYONE. How do you handle these feelings? Most of us would like to say we have great coping skills and can solve this. Who has ever participated in a dangerous activity because you were bored? Its a good idea to me Mindful of your feelings and what you are needing at the moment and figure out what is the safest way to handle it.

 I love Recreation Therapy. Here are some examples of how we would recommend handling each situation.
H-easy eat, go to a restaurant with friends, cooking party with friends, picnic? (make it fun depending on the situation!)
A- tell people you need space and go do something physical! punch your bed, run, lift weights, physical actions release the tension and bodily symptoms associated with anger.
L- call friends/family, try to get a spontaneous trip to somewhere, hiking, shopping, starbucks (fixes hunger too haha), I would not suggest facebook unless you go on to chat. FB has the possibility of producing "stinkin thinkin" when seeing everyone's "happy" status's and feeling left out. be aware of what starts stinkin thinkin.
T- nap! or catch up on sleep. do not neglect your body's needs. Your body and mind are connected and feed off each other.
B- structure your time, create an amazing bored board! (post on that soon!) make a craft, help someone with chores (i know not fun...but helpful and relationship building)
S-find out what is scaring you...there are different ways to deal with fear. is it rational? talk it out with someone. Can you work through it? is there real danger? find helpful ways to avoid it or to resolve the fear

During my internship here is how I have seen people deal with HALT BS feelings in the past.
H-become over sensitive, greedy, no consideration for others
A- yell, become violent, throw anything they can get their hands on, basically shut down with violence where no amount of words can get through to them, they are tense, feeling the physical symptoms the patients want release and their way which is hard to mix. I have children bang heads on walls and doors, bite staff, kick doors, and yell profanities without stopping. I have fortunately seen one child being restrained and given a shot.
L- a common reaction is cutting, depression, further isolating self, drug use to fit in a group
T-emotional breakdowns, suicidal ideation, lack of rational choices
B-lack of rational choices, dangerous behaviors and activities, drug use is very common here.
S- lack of social interactions/isolation, avoidance of a physiological need (food), another good one is borderline personality disorder. scared of experiencing a close relationship....

These are just a few of the reactions and results of the feelings. Try to find effective coping skills that work for you! Its surprising how little things can make a big impact on your life even with or without you realizing it.


so be mindful and HALT BS!!! <3  All in love!

Weird obsession?

Soooo since being at NY for my internship I have discovered I have a new obsession.... I am collecting magazine ideas. Only four types of ideas though so there is organization of some sort: Crafts, Recipes, Room styles, and Workout moves/tips. I call the notebook the Dani Book of Everything Home-ish. I officially classified this as an obsession when I started to rip pictures of rooms out of Home magazine in at doctor's office... is that rude or socially unacceptable to do that? I really liked the style of the room! It was a pretty teal and grey mixture...  Its kind of fun. I feel like its my very own Pinterest in a notebook. Did I ever discuss why I didnt keep my Pinterest? to make a long story short Pinterest produced sinful thoughts. Nothing serious (though sin is sin). I would lust and want. I would become unhappy with my current life. So I quickly rid myself of my "membership." Its a great imaginative website to share ideas! just not for me :) But now I have my own way to creating my very own collection of ideas with the focus on the future and not how my life could never be or look like that. I have SOOOO many recipes! I look forward to having a grown-up job and being able to afford to make pepper-crusted steak with roasted veggies on a regular basis! :-D Oh or apricot-pistachio salad! haha im looking through my latest collection of magazine rippings. (clippings but I didn't have scissors so I ripped them out of the magazine). Maybe I should control when I rip... but its fun! plus I don't have to order the magazine myself! ;-) Oh wait! that could be a reason why its socially unacceptable! right? mmmmm I guess this could go into a values/moral debate...

Is ripping pages out of a magazine you didn't pay for the same as stealing? 

• Its still taking something you didn't pay for
• its only a magazine that costs $2-$4 a magazine... so that's like 5 cents a page

Have fun with this! hahah

Internship excitement!

A story from my internship! I have survived week 3!!

     It's week three in lovely NY and I'm starting to earn more and more responsibilities such as writing the progress notes, co-plan groups, complete client interviews/assesments, and as of recent plan groups! Well today I got to plan the Friday afternoon group! I decided on planning Minute to Win it Games and I came up with 8 challenges. I spent basically my entire lunch hour planning and setting up for this. So its time to set up the group. I had visions of the kids jumping and cheering and working hard on these challenging activities and excitement in the room! I was hope for laughter and fun through out the group and wonderful discussion at the end.
    I had the room all set-up, I was a little late getting everything ready but the kids were flexible with me. we had three kids not attend. One was in the comfort room playing guitar (allowed to calm nerves, distract from thoughts, prevent harming actions for he had schizophrenia), one was asleep because he was on a med.holiday (completely stop all medications for 4+ days), and the other was talking about safety plans with her counselor (shes important so we will name her Ashley). So my group was 5 not including the activity assistant, the nurse and my supervisor. Well the first 2 challenges were funny, entertaining, and really hard but they stuck with them even when we had to stop because of time.  Ashley arrived after the second game and I thought she would love to jump right in to the activity. So i told her what we are doing and asked her to draw a number. Well as I asked her if she wanted to draw a number she growled at me. I told her "you dont have to play if you dont want to" but she said she will continue. So the teams challenge was for one person to try to keep three balloons in the air for one min. No more than 10 seconds after I said start, Ashley dropped the balloon, said "I give up" and stormed out of the room yelling "I hate these F____ H____!" and other loud profanities. The other kids and I did not hear this because another team mate decided to try and they started to go again. I could not leave the room and check on her. That is the job of the activity assistants. Sadly I had to discover the the distress tolerance level of Ashley first. Oh and apparently, during my explanation of the challenge, Ashley was resting her head on her hand with her middle finger up like Simon did from American Idol! i would have ignored it anywho and honestly it makes me laugh!
   From the beginning of group before Ashley arrived and after she left, the challenges were frustrating to the group and those trying to complete the tasks. So I was able to connect my processing questions to what are some ways to handle frustrating situations. Questions which required considering what happened and how could have it been handled differently. The kids in the end, though all stated they were angry and frustrated at one point loved the activities and asked we could leave them up for them to continue to practice/try.
    So from this group I learned a lot about myself, the group im working with, and also planning considerations. I although my intentions of including her were good, I should have let her watch the craziness of the challenges and how ppl handled their frustrations. I also learned that games that produce heart racing, time-beating, skill needing actions need to be proceeded with caution... My supervisor told me not to take anything Ashley said personally, she unknowing to us was already mad because of her meeting with her counselor, but that can be hard. When sitting through her initial client assessment, Ashley seemed like she could be a sweet girl and not so violent. I was slightly mad in myself for being the one to push her over the edge and I do long for her not to hate me and to have a good rapport with her, but I can not bog myself down with personal thoughts like that. The purpose of the group was to learn how to handle emotions/stressful situations. I haven't seen Ashley since because it was a Friday afternoon. I hope for the best when she sees me Tues. morning....

BRING IT ON!

"Bring it on" by Steven Curtis Chapman...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mktjoryv_8Y

WOW I just realized one very key point to this song. First when trouble comes our way there are MULTIPLE ways to handle it. You can give up and try to find the easy way out, try to ignore it, try to fix it, try to face it head on, or lean on others for help. Some Christians are taught that when something goes wrong you are strong because you have Jesus on your side. In fact, that is what I've grown up thinking. You can face anything if you have Jesus... I have also grown up listening to the song "Bring it On," its a powerful, encouraging song that seems to instill feelings of "Yeah I can do This! Bring it! Bring your worst!" Im like that. "Bring on the Challenge, the pain, the dirt and the grime! I can make it through this! Im a tough girl so GGGRRRrrrrr! I've got Jesus!"  But if you listen to the song, the person "bringing it on" is God/Jesus. whoops! probably not something you want to say to God's face...
Me: BRING IT ON WORLD! I can take it!
God:... uh no you cant...
Me: Yea I can! I got this! Im tough, God. Nothin can shake me! I've got Jesus so I've got this!
God: (God whips out epic sunglasses) Fool I'm trying to get your attention! You cant handle nothin with without me!

Oky so bad to seriousness...
God is making him weak so that he will lean on Him. God is bringing the rain, the storm, the high waves to make the singer turn to God and make their relationship stronger. So yea bring it on God so that I may turn to you with my hands wide open in humbleness saying God I need YOU to calm this storm. Bring it on so that I may run to you! In my personal life I am making choices that can make or literally break a person. (see next post) In order to proceed with confidence in my field I have to lean on God for guidance everyday in how I handle various levels of relationships, staying calm and flexible through mental storms, and to plan activities with unknown outcomes with new patients. It's easy to get into the mindset of "Bring it on! I have Jesus so I can handle what is thrown at me." But who's really trying to control the situation?

This time last year I started the blog Summer Proverbs as a way to turn to God in a time of loneliness, hurt, and confusion. It was probably my first actually taking steps towards God in a storm from the very beginning. Although I did not finish the book, nor kept up with my blog, I saw how turning to God opened my eyes to truth, where I was lacking in my relationship with Him and it prepared me for a year of learning to pray! :) WHAT AN AMAZING YEAR OVERALL!!

"Hello DBT skills, meet Life"

I'm going to start off by saying I LOVE MY INTERNSHIP! Not only am I learning recreational therapy skills, handling patients of a variety of sorts, and putting what I have been taught for 3 yrs into practice, I am also learning some basic life skills. For example being assertive as well as confident in my actions! I feel this internship is going to grow me so much as a person. Another part of this internship, or at least the facility, is the use of DBT skills.

DBT skills stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy and in short, consists of four content areas: m, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. I could write a blog describing all the different steps, the theory placed behind the creation of DBT skills, and the effectiveness of it in practice OR I could write about one part of the DBT skills and the importance I can place in my life.

This week seems to be about one of the DBT skills: Relationship skills. While currently I do not have any relationship problems, the skills taught are meant to be use in ANY sort of relationship. conversation with a boss, co-worker, friend, or family member, random cashier/clerk, waitress, ect. Under relationship skills there are three acronyms:

DEAR MAN:  Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce. Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate.
        This acronym is to reach a certain objective. A common example used on my unit is when you want to go to the movies and you have to ask your mom. Describe: What's going on?--"so my friends are going to see the Avengers", Express: What are your wants?-- "I would really like to join them." Assert: Why are you bringing this up?-- "Can you give me a ride to the theaters?" Reinforce: I would really appreciate a ride from you and to spend time with my friends. Mindful: Listen to the person even if its not the answer you expected, "I cant take you today I am too busy." Appear confident: (this is important when asking ppl of authority), Negotiate: If there is a possibility of a no..--"Can I help you with the chores so you have time to take me?"  That's right, you have to put in effort, time, energy, and something you probably don't want to do.

GIVE: Gentle, Interested, Validation, Easy Manner.
       This is to maintain and keep relationships. This is not for yourself as it is for the best of both parties. Example: your boss at work. Sometimes we do things we really dont want to do or dont always agree with (unless it invades our integrity of course) just so the boss the does not get annoyed with us. Be Gentle, truly listen and be interested in WHAT the person is saying, validate his/her words but confirming, agreeing to the asked task or simply restating the conversation like "From what you are saying, you are angry that he took your ball?" (like re-stating), and go with the flow, do not grumble or complain, do the task with a mad heart.

FAST: be Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, be Truthful.
       This is to maintain self-respect! Fairly straight forward!

So there is a little bit about what my internship is teaching me... You can see where these areas apply almost EVERYDAY!

Which acronym can be the most effective in your life? Which one is the hardest for you?


I have been looking at this and I am going to apply DEAR MAN to the lady renting my house. My objective: allowing my boyfriend to spend a few nights with me in an empty house. So here is the ideal conversation! "Hi Ms. Landlady. So Mike has informed me that the house will be empty between these dates. Can my boyfriend visit me from (insert dates here)?" Idk how to reinforce this... and well from there I would listen to her ideas/answer. Maybe negotiate a price...(which i dont really want BUT i'd understand if it comes to that.) The key to DEAR MAN is to try hard for your objective but to also be flexible to earn this objective or maybe even a straight up "no" even when assertive... WISH ME LUCK <3

Chipmunk capital of the US

Oky so when you think of chipmunks you probably think of either the infamous Chip and Dale or little adorable rodents that you get to see while hiking through the woods and that is if you are very lucky and quiet. Well the impression of elusive, secretive little creatures went straight out my window when I went hiking on Morrison Trail in Allegheny National Forest, PA. (BEAUTIFUL trail btw!) Anywho during my 5.3 mile hike I began counting how many times I heard or saw a chipmunk. About .5 miles on the trail I got to 15... .5 miles! thats a chipmunk basically everywhere... I decided to give up counting and just enjoy my hike and try not to step on the running rodents. They are still so cute though but I didnt realize how prominent they were untill I went hiking and then on the drive back home I saw them playing/fighting/running around in the streets like squirrels in NC! They bascially were like the crazy squirrels in NC but small and (lucky for them) cuter looking...
Below is a pic of the first chipmunk I saw in NY...basically the first living creature I saw moving into my temporary home.  <3

OT questions and a prideful heart

WARNING:
DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT READ THE OLD TESTAMENT WITH PRIDE IN YOUR HEART!

An explanation is in order. I am currently reading through the Old testament with my boyfriend! What an amazing idea and every night we end in prayer. Well I have discovered two things about myself from this...
one: I can't retain much philosophical information or hold a deep conversation when I am tired. There are wonderful times, however, when at night I light up with insight or energy and mental capacity to be able to yak ad learn more then during the day...sadly those times are few.
two: I am still a prideful little twit. (idk if I used it right but it seems fitting atm). I already had an idea of how much I can be prideful...its what led me to realize the amount of sin in my life and the need for God! But I did not realize where i still held my pride.

  So my pride lies within my so called knowledge of who God is. If you are a seasoned reader/follower then maybe you knew that I grew up in a Christian family, church all the time, and thankfully, a true understanding of God's love, forgiveness, and the amazing Good News which led to our forgiveness, salvation, and adoption into a forever family with Him and each other. WELL because of that, I feel I know a great deal about the bible and I can answer any question thrown at me! I know all the basic answers about Jesus and God. At least I thought I did...

Now my boyfriend and I are reading through the OT, making observations, seeing what stands out to us and questions we have. My bf is kinda really smart, wise, discerning, and well I can go on and on about him really. So with these traits he really knows how to ask the deep theological questions that I honestly never see or skip over. A part of me loves it! another part of me becomes frustrated because I do not know the OT very well at ALL. So when questions are asked i feel the need to give the RIGHT answer. In my head I think: "I know a lot about the bible, I should be able to answer this!" and well, i cant. I know there are no right answers to most theological questions,only more questions. But somehow during the discussions, questions and attempts to find the right answers my heart and mind closes off and is not TRULY open to what my boyfriend has to say.

That i despise about myself. How is that loving? Its not! But I am working through it. I know God place me with my boyfriend for more than just enjoyment and passion, but for someone to truly grow and challenge me like never before! Its going to take some time but here are the steps I am going to take to prevent a closed mind and to remain open to whatever God and my boyfriend have to teach me!

A) I will pray before every conversation I have with my boyfriend
B) I will humble myself with facts presented to me
C) I will attempt to do research that is accurate/reliable/valid (that will be hard...)


I am so hopeful for the summer because of this challenge and growth presented at me! I am changing everyday, I pray it is for the best!

Two of the many reasons Im not normal... oh and Squirrels!

Guess what!
 Im not normal!!

 Guess what!
Im glad!

Im weird and this post is about two reasons in particular...

1) I can not multi-task with the TV on...

you know how some people can watch TV while completing homework,  talking with ppl, ect.? That might even describe you! I cant...like seriously, when the TV is on my mind turns off and I stare into the rectangle of images whether or not the sound is on. No matter what you tell me or what happens I will most likely miss it... A bomb could go off and I will ask what that noise was mmmm about 5-10 mins after the fact... if I'm still alive and the TV is on of course. Idk why! I've tried hard to fix it and if im really really determined to complete something with the TV on I can but its mentally exhausting if longer than an hour and if my mind wanders for just a second then ZOOP straight to the TV and its a challenge to get it back on track. You can make fun of me...everybody else does. (no go ahead and laugh its one of my quirks I kinda enjoy living with)

2) I am a morning bird!

Seriously, I, a 21 yr old college student, enjoys waking up at 6:30-7am everyday and going to be around 10pm. I would rather get up at 4am to complete school work than stay up till 3am and sleep till 12. I feel so gross and weird when I sleep in and my body does not allow that too often. Plus if I wake up at 11 I feel the day is almost over!!! I love starting the day productive cause I tend to continue this motion of productivity. I guess its like the idea that if you eat a healthy breakfast you will tend to eat healthier during the day. But yes Im a morning bird, I wake up quickly, I get going quickly and then when 7pm rolls around I am allowed to slow down, granted that's when everyone else is running full steam! Somehow ppl can work on school work for hours after dinner! I've tried to become more of a college student by forcing myself to spend longer nights with friends in their dorms...then this semester I decided to stop fighting and start working with my body! From a book that i've finished reading (Good and Beautiful God) it suggested in the very begining that you set up a sleep schedule or pick one day a week to sleep in... I went for the former and after a 16 weeks of going to bed at 10 during the week days I have decided that I LOVE IT!!! I dont care that everyone else is up, I want my sleep! granted on the weekends, all is off! I may get tired quicker than everyone but at least I stay up longer! haha! I hope to FOREVER be a morning bird!! I love it, I feel great, and when I get up earlier and I have longer, rest-free quiet times with God and that's just what we both enjoy!

So in short, if you want to put me in a box... I am a silly, easily distracted morning bird! (squirrel?)

Great maybe I am a squirrel.... How would you define squirrels? crazy? sporadic? silly? hyper? nuts like what they eat? hey at least they are fluffy and cute! right? Maybe I am a squirrel! idk how I feel about that...

New Joke!...guys take note ;)

0 to 200 in 6 seconds

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday...

 So I like to draw too... Here is pic I drew from from a pic I took recently... surprisingly my favorite part of the original pic is the man smiling in the back ground, not the colorful parrot. The parrot was just the most fun to draw.
Obviously I have a good bit to learn about drawing faces! :D

Heading North... and missing South.

Im set. I know another part of my life will be spent....up north. New York for the summer and then Ohio for 2.5 years of more school!! So much I could write on this so here are some short note

a) its amazing how God works/provides for us in the littlest of details (placement of acceptances for internships and OT school)

b)I HATE THE COLD!!! So, like a bird, I will be heading south (Fl) for winter break.

c) I'm curious about culture in the north versus the south....

SOooo my amazing boyfriend came with me to visit my internship up in NY by lake Erie. A 10 hour drive took us 13 hours. Our first night we decided to go out to eat somewhere nice. We drove around and couldn't find a decent sit-down restaurant and I decided I'll go in and ask someone in a movie store. I'm gong to be honest, I went in thinking about the steriotypes placed on NY-ers...rude, rushing around, not really wanting to stop and help ppl....well that wasnt the case at all! I asked one of the workers at the front and then a sweet lady jumped in to give suggestions as well! then another man made a suggestion! By the end of talking with the store clerk and the lady we had (in our minds) directions to this one restaurant and the store's number in case we get lost. SO SWEET!! I kinda felt like skipping out of the store haha (i think i did...)

SO we arrive at the restaurant and as the waitress led us to our table and was placing the menus down were she anticipated our placement of booties, my Bf came over to my side to pull out my chair. This really confused the waitress and she tried to quickly rearrange the menus thinking we were sitting side-by-side. Then my Bf went across the table (after I sat down) to take his seat which confused the waitress even further so she picked up the menus and waited till he sat down. She was in shock! not that extreme... "I have never seen that before while working here!" almost like a man pulling out a chair for a lady was unheard of. I think she loved it and thought it was cute. After such an event we were very sociable with her and talked about the area and so forth. I told my bf multiple times how much I'm going to miss his chivalry and manners over the summer! Well that night started my awareness on southern and northern cultural differences which I hope discuss as soon as I move up there in May! 

Facebook Status

Happiness (I believe) is enjoying every God given event after another. Enjoy the company of friends, enjoy the quietness of solitude, simply enjoy the moment as it is. Do not spend time looking toward the future or the past, there will always be questions, regrets, and "what ifs." There will never be a moment like this again. Thank you God for the uniqueness of each day!

The Girl..who happens to have a Dragon Tattoo...maybe spoiler..

So shortly after New Years, My best friend Rachel and I decided to see a movie called (if it wasnt obvious by the title) Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.GREAT MOVIE! and Rachel, who read the book, said it was very close to the book minus a few details. The movie was very R rated and honestly a lot of unneeded sex scenes. BUT that's not why Im writing this!
The girl, Liz, is who I want to focus on. My first impression of Liz was a hard-core, tough, goth, who just wasnt someone I would go up and talk to on the streets...granted I dont normally go up and talk to ppl on the streets... Then she gets raped...more than once and the second time she is raped was the most graphic (not the most graphic scene in the movie) She was chained by all limbs to the bed, beaten, forced, and gagged. She screamed, yelled, and then cried in helplessness. To me at first (going to be honest) I kinda blew her off as feeling-less. Idk why really. I didnt consider her as a person. Then I saw this scene. I saw her cry. She became a girl to me. She became a real person who I felt very sorry for. That part of the movie I almost cried. I felt helpless as she did. I do not the true pain she was going through but I can sense the helplessness. She was just a girl to me, being brutally raped. After that movie, walking out, I wondered if my perception of ppl who put on these masks of being tough, goth, changed. I'm so certain it has. In a way, it made me really see people as people I guess. Weird how one movie can clump the entire human race into my learning experience... Anywho, I desire now to maybe find a way to reach out to everyone and anyone. No one, by dress, looks, or supposed attitude should turn you away. Where is God's love in that. No one should not receive a smile, or a helping hand. What throws your mind into judgmental thoughts? For me, girls with snobby faces, who look as if they believe they rule the world... kind of. Then my mind races about and will start to judge them even though they do not deserve it at all!!! I feel that Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, made me realize, on a more extreme level, how people should never be placed in boxes.

Idk if I actually finished everything I wanted to say. I wrote this over Christmas break. sorry this is late.

Surgeron Danielle General's Warning...

SENIORITIS has finally hit me this semester!!! Which is great b/c I believe I have worked hard all three year years of college sooo honestly Im oky if I simply get only B's which is where I am currently in my classes. I'm seriously only putting effort in class projects because they are so much more interesting than regurgitating information about insurance types and assessments. I think after an entire day of sleeping, I'll be more motivated to focus...maybe :)   As a medical-loving student, here is my version of the Surgeon General's warning on Senioritis...ACTUALLY!! the term Senior-itis isnt correct. -itis means inflammation, like swelling... The term  should be Seniorism/ Seniorosis (condition,disease) Seniorcide (destorying/ killing), or hullcsenior (wandering of the mind)

Danielle General's Warning on: Seniorosis

Symptoms include

1. Not caring about an upcoming test
2. feeling of coasting with the feeling of dragging but not caring
3. Classes have resorted to more classes in your pillow.
4. You start considering how you can become rich off Facebook or ideas from pintrest than from your future career
5. wearing sweatpants a little more than you should...
6. You would describe yourself as mediocre and your happy with that...

The Cure...GRADUATION and it just never comes soon enough!! 

some of you are already experiencing these symptoms as juniors, sophomores and possible freshman... There is no hope for you! You have caught senioritis too early and it will only progress with time!!! Quick, find some form of hope! Get help! Go see a hypnotist! There is hope, I just cant offer it to you... Stop this disease before it truly becomes seniorcide and destroys all your hard high school work!!!

Good Luck!

Talking Dogs and Talking to God

So this is not going to be an upbeat blog post... The last few havent been exactly upbeat... I hope to fix that but not today. SORRY!

Oky a joke: What is cooler than a talking dog?.....................................................................A spelling BEE!! :) muahahahaha

IDK what you know sooo here is my past two weeks summed up. From the Occupational Therapy graduate schools I applied to, I got on the waiting list for my top choice and my bottom choice and was rejected from my second choice school. Waiting, as noted by my past posts, is hard.
So basically I finally got over the whole waiting idea for graduate school and I believe I finally had peace about it. Thanks to multiple one-on-one conversations with God and then advice from my amazing boyfriend, I had backup plans, I realized that OT is what I want to be, and  that I am in no rush to get it. THEN (this wed.) I get a call from TOLEDO university (UT) asking if I still wanted to go there for OT school. Wow did I get excited. UT is a doctorate program. Basically in 2.5 years in Toledo would result in being called Dr. Dani. three of their professors worked in pediatrics, they have a farm individuals with autism (http://www.bittersweetfarms.org/)... Here's the site for UT: http://www.utoledo.edu/eduhshs/depts/rehab_sciences/ot/index.html

Yes so I was pretty excited about the name, about being wanted to attend, my mom reflected that excitement too! My plan being an OT was to someday receive my Dr. so that when my Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) and/or age limited my abilities to bend down and play with kids, I will teach at a college! Mom also wanted to see me write a textbook too... that probably won't happen HAHAHA

As I was talking to mom about this my excitement ended when I realized what I would be leaving...My boyfriend (bf for now). I can never truly remember all that I have talked about but I quickly came to the conclusion while dating him, that he is the one I want to marry, he is the one I want to be with my whole life, travel with, worship God with, ect. He is wise, funny, so sweet and caring for me, a hard and smart worker, Christ follower (that should have been first haha), awkward like me yet so mature! Has given me wisdom on multiple occasions, encourages me to question and research any doubts and any ideas; thanks to his debating nature, which I feel has helped me grow as a person as well. We have both stated that we would love to see this go to marriage, in fact im pretty sure we are counting on it. But we have so much schooling left. I think we both realize that marriage right now would not be wise. We do not struggle sexually as well.

My dilemma: trying to figure out what I want. I want so/too many things, I want to be with bf always, I want to be an OT, I want to work in the school systems, I want to start a life too. I'm honestly trained from thinking about this. I have cried so much yesterday about leaving bf. The summer would not be hard. I've done it before, but can bf and I continue it for three years? idk...my bf is nothing like my ex but I still remember those times on the phone over the summer I work at KOA, ex would start something, he would get annoyed at me for littlest things. Its much easier to get into fights on the phone. Unless both parties can articulate everything that is going on, its hard to truly get the whole picture. Its easy to hide true feelings, its easy to get frustrated because they didn't truly understand what happened.

There are so many other factors too but my bf was the most important. I HATE THE COLD!! the average high summer temp is only 82 degrees! which right now is warm BUT that's not summer warm. The average high winter temp is 30 degrees!! below freezing!! My RA hates the cold too ;)

Well yesterday night Intervarsity had a prayer night for large group. Much needed, I tried to clear my mind of all distractions, of all responses to my acceptance. It was hard. I realized two things: 1) no matter what I choose someone is not going to be happy (duh)..... 2) I need to find a way to leave the influences of others and truly decide what I want and what God wants in this situation. I know that if I follow God, He will give me peace and confidence as He has in the past. Today after my group meeting im "running" away but idk where yet. I have multiple choices. I am also hoping to get up with my spiritual mentor. I need to talk to someone who is a Christ-follower, much older than me, and hopefully unbiased in giving me advice. She has been my spiritual-mentor/mother for a year now. I am so thankful for her. I am so blessed for her advice and the times we have exploring Prayer and God's word.

Updates soon. And maybe more joyful posts!

Praising in the storm.... or not

So Im going to be writing this multiple times... hopefully my points are somewhat connected. (I accidently wrote this in my summer of proverbs.... so it has been moved...a week and a day later...)


Passage I will be referring to is Matthew 14:22-33, Jesus Walks on Water. Oky so as small group leader we take a passage like this and come up with questions. For me personally, I have heard this passage at least 3 times for every year of my life, currently I'm 21 soooo mathematically speaking I have heard/read this passage 63 times. Probably an exaggeration... ;)  Strangely enough, I never realized all of the meanings tucked into this simple passage until small group planning with my amazing co-leader.

When do we typically praise God? read the passage and seriously reflect on whether we follow the pattern of the disciples or not. I know I typically do! It has taken an act of God one time for me to praise God. I believe I might have talked about this in a previous post around this time last year... I am very much like the disciples. I am so willing to praise and worship God when things go my way, or as I planned them, or when events work in my favor!  It is so easy! When there is a storm (a fight with a friend, medical problems, pain, mourning, ect.) do we really want to look up at God and reflect on His goodness, His perfect mysterious plan? For me it is hard to focus on the true characteristics of God. I want to figure out how to fix the problem or the typical question "Why God?" "What is it that you want?"

Look at what happened to the disciples. First, they praised Jesus and proclaimed him "Son of God" after Peter was safe in the boat AND after the storm was over. Second, Jesus and God did not want anything from them, just faith. God didn't change their direction in the boat, Jesus didn't give them a new direction in life or drastically change ideas. Jesus just wanted faith and for them not to worry.

Another point/idea noticed: V.26 " When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, 'It's a ghost!'" In their fear they assumed the worst, in their fear they were not looking for hope. Is that common in our life? Well I guess in a way yes. When waiting for a response, I sometimes expect the storm to worsen, I have to make a plan in case it does, I have to prepare for the worst. What if questions fly into my head, but what if i never ask those questions and truly live day-by-day for God?

There are so many other points to be made about this passage here are the questions my sg leader and I came up with.

• Why would Jesus approach the disciples by walking on water?
• What causes Peter to start to sink?
• What are somethings that are distracting you from your relationship with God?
• Jesus proclaims that He is the reason to not be fearful about the storm.
• What percentage of the disciples truly stopped fearing during the storm?
• When do you truly believe Jesus is in our toughest situations?
• When is it easy for us to trust God?
• V.27-30
• Why did Peter make such a statement and then reacted/action?
• Why did Peter want to join Jesus?
• Has there ever been a time you tested Jesus and took a step outside of you comfort zone? (or in this case comfort boat?)