The Uncertainty of Events

Howdy blog readers its been too long! I can not say that I have been very busy and I really do not have a good excuse for not updating this. I guess because Action is hard to come by at the moment. I am truly experiencing life as a soon to graduate college student. I'm waiting. Waiting to hear back from Grad schools, waiting to decide whether I should take classes in areas like bio-feedback or child-life, waiting to see where I will live, waiting to see where God will place me next year. Up until Monday, I was waiting to see if I was going to stay where I am currently located or if I am going to have to move to NY. I discovered that NY is going to be my home for the summer.

Explanation: I need to complete 15 weeks/600 hours of interning with a certified recreational therapist inorder to get my certification. I have applied to multiple places: Shepard Center in Atlanta Ga, Vidant in NC, WCA in NY, and VA hospital in NC. I blew the interview for Shepard, I just wasnt prepared and I did not have the confidence. the interview from WCA and Vidant went great. In fact during the interview with Vidant I was certain I was going to get an internship! I walked out so confident and Vidant was my top choice after Shepard.
I was rooting for Vidant for multiple reasons (not in order of importance):

• Summers where I live, though muggy and hot, are relaxing, lazy, and eventful with friends even with work and school
• I would be in the same aprt. complex as my boyfriend
• I wouldn't have to move
• I know the area, I have a church home, I could possibly meet with Mrs. Cheryl (my mentor) regularly again.

Well, I did not get my desired internship. And I am at peace with it. There is a reason why I'm going to NY. I had so many ppl in my Christian family praying that I would be accepted into Vidant, I was positive the interview went perfect, and I had connections with the lead therapist at the hospital. Even with all the bonuses I did not get in and NY gladly accepted me. This shows that I am not guaranteed anything, just because things go great and people (as well as yourself) are praying for your wants and dreams. 

After spending a day reflecting on this, looking up the hospital, talking with my new supervisor, I am at peace with this internship. God closed the doors I so that I will not enter but one, God's hand was in this. I am not only at peace but excited about this new adventure!  I will be in a new facility in a city of 31,000+, new area of work (mental health), new state and area of US. I have plans of finding a church and joining a small group over the summer.

Now here's a little fact about me that idk if I mentioned. I'm not a crier when with friends. I will try my best to hold back any tears, emotions, ect. that would result in the appearance of crying. When I received the e-mail from Vidant about my rejection, I was with my friend Anne. I did not cry. When I receive the rejection phone call from Sheperd center, I was walking home from school, no one around, I cried silently. I wanted to cry when I read the e-mail, but I knew once I did I would A) ruin a beautiful for day for Anne, B)not look forward to this internship and focus on the negatives. I feel like that once you release an emotion without a clearer head, it easy to get stuck in that emotion. I felt like if I were to cry with Anne and share my thoughts and feelings, I would like the attention, I would hold on to the idea that Im not going to like WCA, and i would cry or complain to multiple others. If I face the situation and share the news in a positive tone, I find positives on my own. Idk if that made sense but here is how I see it. Studies have proven that even if you are in a terrible mood, if you force a smile, soon you will be happier. Is this just an excuse to secretly bottle up emotions? It works for me.... I could write a whole other blog on that...