Wow I had the best Fall Break ever!!! I want to tell you more about it but its oober late for me and I wanted to share something. So I had this amazing trip and I am in the best mood ever! it was so refreshing, rejuvenating, and just awesome. I get home and get on FB (my first mistake) and I see my sister has a new profile picture. Its gorgeous. And well my head starts going in circles about how much more beautiful my sister is than I am. And she is, face the facts. anyways My amazing high from this past trip was crushed into an ultimate low with some tears. Talk about a spiritual battle. I went from thanking God for his creation to trying to tell myself that I am also Gods creation and that I am beautiful...it was hard and was not working. I, still holding jealousy against my sister, go to ECU's InterVarsity page and someone posts this:
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes
you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.
That snapped be back into a good mood...it wasnt about God, it wasnt super spiritual
(obviously) but I believe that God placed that there for me to read. I felt so much better, I smiled, and felt silly for even thinking those thoughts of jealousy and hurt. Through that simple quote, God showed me that A) i dont need to be beautiful to be happy and B) He is there looking after me and caring for me even in the littlest of problems.I realized the turning point in my mood. It wasnt when I was trying to convince myself that God made me beautiful in a different way, it was when God himself showed me. I needed to simply ask God to show me how I look in His eyes. My vision is so clouded by the physical and the selfish desire to be beautiful then my younger sister, how on Earth could I convince myself.
For those who struggle with feelings of jealousy for their siblings its going to be a never ending battle. I even doubt your sibling knows you have such feelings towards them. Tell them if you feel angry or jealous towards them. It takes humbling yourself, especially if you are the older sibling. It is a never ending battle until you have confidence in every aspect of who you are.
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