Hell's gonna be a party! (really?)

"I bet all the people in (insert town here) are robbing a store or raping each other since all the cops are at the community center watching over us." That statement sent the my classmates roaring with laughter, except me.
"Man, we are going to hell." Stated the driver
"At least we will all be there together," replied one of the passengers.
"Yea, its gonna be a party down there!"
While I on the other hand looked out the window and let my heart break.

We just talked about this and how Hell is a joke in our society. Its sad I wish they wouldn't take it so lightly. If they take Hell so lightly then do you think they take Heaven and God lightly as well? It breaks my heart because I don't know how to respond to them. I don't know how to tell them that Hell shouldn't be joked about without being a stereotypical baptist preacher to them and to just turn them away. So i kept quiet and did not laugh. "At least we know Dani's got it together," one of my classmates remarked... I hope they could sense my sadness. And I'm glad I am viewed as a Christian even though I never specifically told them. Hell is not going to be a party no matter who ends up there. If we hate the consequences of our sin on Earth how much more are we going to enjoy the consequences of our sin in a place designed for punishment? Hell is going to be pure torture whether its literal fire or agony that is just as painful as burning flesh from being truly separated from God.

My heart also breaks for the people who live in rural areas/ghettos. They are people. They have families, they have to work, provide, live. Just because the stereotype is that anyone who lives in the ghetto will hurt you in someway, is that true? People joke about locking their doors and saying how a place is sketch. Crime rates are higher in these areas, I know, and I do understand the need to be cautious, but a girl my age has to be cautious of her surroundings no matter where I am. In the library, in my apartment complex, going for a run in broad daylight. If we are so quick to make comments and jokes like that, wont we be quick to shut a person off because of where they live if they come to us for help? How often are people scared for those who move into the projects to raise a family and to be a light for that community? My parents included. My heart breaks because they want to know love, they want to feel safe and protected. They are not provided the same opportunities as others. Maybe it is their fault, maybe it was how they were raised, maybe it was just because of circumstance. Maybe they want out or something more to live for than what we would expect (drugs, gang action).


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue-3x9Vt-tc&feature=related   





Wait...I before E except after C, except in the word society. HAHAHA

quote from church...

To a prisoner to a priest:

"Sir, I do not share your faith. But if I did--if I believed what you say you believed--then although England were covered with broken glass from coast to coast, I would crawl the length and breath of it on hand and knee and think the pain worthwhile, just to save a single soul from this eternal hell of which you speak." Charles Peace

UNC MADNESS... and not in basketball...

Howdy! Im on the hunt for schools to apply to Occupational Therapy. In all honesty I would love to stay in my current location. I know the area well, I have lots of friends here, and its basically become my home. (my family home still doesn't feel like home but that's a different story...) But i am taking steps to go see other Grad school options. Competition in OT is tough so its best to apply to a good number of grad schools.
Background: I visited UNC when choosing an undergraduate location. I did not particularly like UNC. It felt HUGE to me. It feel too much like a city and not very personal and welcoming. At that time I did not know where I was how I got here and where I was going when I was touring campus... and half way through the tour i kinda just shut my mind off and relied on my dad to get us back to the car after the tour.
Now: I was still holding though same feelings and unmotivated attitude as the days to the open house were approaching. I knew I was going to have to work hard to be or at least to act open to the idea of applying to UNC. I printed off all sorts of info about their OT program and read and highlighted points I like, points of interest, and points of confusion. There was one sentence that stood out to me above all the rest: I need to find the paper but it ended with you career goals...Not education goals, not personal desire goals, not find the place that fits you to the tee. I know that's kinda commonsense but that sentence opened up my mind and heart just enough to realize what I have been doing. I have been selfish in how I look at schools. I looked at schools thinking about how I would like it there, not on the reason why im pursuing an OT degree. God spoke to me and said to stop being selfish, and get use to the idea that where ever He places me is where Im suppose to be. I think God is showing me what my comfort zones are and how to push it. Looking back at this week and my change of feelings, im actually excited about going off to new schools.


STORY! oky so here I am driving into UNC and i look at the clock. Oky 2:30...I would have liked to be in UNC closer to 2ish but with traffic on the highway and dropping a friend off, I had good reasons to be slightly off schedule. The building should be easy to find right and its Friday so the traffic is mostly leaving UNC too. I was calm and ready to go meet new professors! Meeting is at 3. So here I am entering UNC. I find Franklin St. its a long street... then I finally enter downtown-ish area... I have never seen so many people in one downtown area except for when there was a fair going on or ECU on a Friday/Saturday night and at that point the roads are blocked off!! Not only that but the signs were sooo small (and I have great eye sight!) I saw signs for the visitor center (straight ahead) and then no more signs! I looked around as much as I could with out hitting people...I found the street to the school of medicine, Sweet! So i turn right... which was wrong. Oh well I turn down a street and make a U-turn right there in the middle of the road. (I love my Melvin the Camry) And I go the right way down the street. The street is stop and go traffic for 15 mins. Now its about 2:50ish...uh-oh now Im really pushing it! Its oky, b/c normally they wait about 5-10 mins for people who are running late. :) Well all of a sudden this street I am on become a one way street and I have to turn left or right! AHHH idk where to go! G-maps said to stay on this street but that will equal the death of me! So i go left, which would have been fine because I wanted to start over and head to Franklin street, BUT i was behind a bus and i was driving down the middle of campus on a small two-lane road! Not only that the bus wasnt the slowest car. There was a LINE of cars...Come to find out it was parent's weekend...oh hurray. So I finally get on Franklin St. around 3:10ish, now im starting to worry. I find a visitor parking lot and pull in. I ask the lady where to find the school of medicine and lucky for me she gave me a "what building?" reply and face...She handed me a map and said this lots full but feel free to pull in and figure out where you need to go.
I found it! and I was off to try again! The map was awesome because it also showed visitor parking lots right by my specific building! So I'm heading the right way doing great, using the map and making all the right turns! I even drive right by the front of the building, turn into the lot with metered visitor parking lots and Ta-da! there are no visitor spots period! Its 3:20 now... The meeting is only suppose to last an hour. I start to panic... I go the very end of the lot/alley and turn around and headed out. I had to go in the direction opposite of my building and I was back to making another circle...I started to cry (im such a girl) I was so frustrated and upset! So i found a parking lot for construction workers (it was empty) and I called my mom and told her everything and how upset I was because I was finally interested in the UNC OT program and I get here and I fail at finding the building and getting there on time and I skipped classes for this and I hate this traffic and i dont know where I am and I give up and I wish the my car had it's illegal tinted windows so I could cry and no-one could see me (you can laugh at any of this if you want). So mom talks to dad. He looks up future open house dates and finds one that does not require me to skip any more classes and tells me to just find a parking spot where they wont tow and walk around campus. (dad knows me too well)  So I take another look at the map. There is a hospital near-byish and since Im walking why not park far away and know Im safe. Mom calls me again on the way to lot and I tell her what I am doing. There is a guy directing traffic and I ask him where to go, placing the phone down in under my parking brake. He points me into the parking garage and i go in. Parking garages remind me of Duke hospital so I like them and I start to sing about pulling into a parking garage and the people and cars all around me. I even start trying to sound like an italian man when I find an open spot in a corner! I all of sudden hear something from my car...it was my phone...oops... mom was still on the phone and was laughing at me... "Are you better?" she asked. hahaha I felt slightly bi-polar because in the span of 5 mins im crying to my mom to singing...
To end this I met up with an old friend and she showed me around campus and we had dinner together and a GREAT time. I actually love UNC campus, very beautiful and I could picture myself living here!

Fall jealousy floats down like autumn leaves.

Wow I had the best Fall Break ever!!! I want to tell you more about it but its oober late for me and I wanted to  share something. So I had this amazing trip and I am in the best mood ever! it was so refreshing, rejuvenating, and just awesome. I get home and get on FB (my first mistake) and I see my sister has a new profile picture. Its gorgeous. And well my head starts going in circles about how much more beautiful my sister is than I am. And she is, face the facts. anyways My amazing high from this past trip was crushed into an ultimate low with some tears. Talk about a spiritual battle. I went from thanking God for his creation to trying to tell myself that I am also Gods creation and that I am beautiful...it was hard and was not working. I, still holding jealousy against my sister, go to ECU's InterVarsity page and someone posts this:


It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes 
you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.






That snapped be back into a good mood...it wasnt about God, it wasnt super spiritual 
(obviously) but I believe that God placed that there for me to read. I felt so much better, I smiled, and felt silly for even thinking those thoughts of jealousy and hurt. Through that simple quote, God showed me that A) i dont need to be beautiful to be happy and B) He is there looking after me and caring for me even in the littlest of problems.I realized the turning point in my mood. It wasnt when I was trying to convince myself that God made me beautiful in a different way, it was when God himself showed me. I needed to simply ask God to show me how I look in His eyes. My vision is so clouded by the physical and the selfish desire to be beautiful then my younger sister, how on Earth could I convince myself. 




For those who struggle with feelings of jealousy for their siblings its going to be a never ending battle. I even doubt your sibling knows you have such feelings towards them. Tell them if you feel angry or jealous towards them. It takes humbling yourself, especially if you are the older sibling. It is a never ending battle until you have confidence in every aspect of who you are.

Small Group...cause i've never talk about them

Over the year and a half of hosting a small group I have come to learn about what makes a small group or a community successful.


Factors that make a small group great:

• GOD first...pray before the meeting.
• open, warm personality
• leaving judgmental attitudes with your old self
• admitting to self that you do not know the bible
• having an interested and excitement in learning about God with a group of people who are just as excited as you
• Be open and share about yourself. If you aren't comfortable sharing then how will your group open up
• BE FLEXIBLE sometimes the passage is not as important as sharing s personal story or praying for individuals going through a hard time!

Here is how leading a Small group has grown me as an individual and spiritually:

• I have had more motivation to learn the word and to make sure I apply it to my life.
• I have faced the facts that i cant be there for everyone and that God will guide me to where I am needed.
• I can not be afraid to ask the deep, pressing, personal questions, and don't be afraid to share your story or your ideas. I am still growing in this area and I am still learning how to have spiritual conversations with someone. Actually I should share a story with you on this...

I love how my blogs are never organized.

So there is a friend of mine who I met through my major and that we both shared a love for GeoCaching. Well I like it a lot and she loves it to the point of obsession! She also has a love of talking...like its rare you will get your two cents worth..maybe not even a penny. To top it off her talks are not very interesting. Her talks are always about her family, work and the adventure center here at school. Which is great to hear about when you first meet someone and you want to get to know them, but after awhile you lose interest right? Well that's kinda what happened to me. I kinda just let her talk. Well, one day at SG we were talking about sharing our testimony and she came to my mind. I had no idea what her thoughts were on God, life after death, sin, ect. So that became my goal for the week: to ask her about her beliefs. 

Because it is personal I cant share what she said but I learned so much about her. I saw a new side to her that formed a connection in me. She still talks in gargantuan amounts but now it does not annoy me. I understand her and want to see her grow closer to God. If you have someone who annoys you, maybe you just don't know them well enough to understand them. Take the time to really get to know them, ask them hard questions, get personal. Its easy these days to not get deep and personal with people. We should not be comfortable with that. We should strive to get to know people beyond facebook messages or the common "Hi how are you? Im good too."

My challenge for me this week: Simply ask personal, thought-provoking questions: How did you come to know the Lord? or What are your views on God?  How have you been challenged this week? What is something you are struggling with? Any other question ideas?

Long time no ranting :D

Welcome to another school year!!! :) ALOT happened over the summer. the relationship I had over the past year and three months was ended. I have grown closer to God but before that I was willingly being pushed further away. I am leading a small group again this year and I'm loving it!!

Im hoping to become a regular blogger again this year but school is crazy. This is known as the year of unknowns...

1. Where will i be doing my Recreational Therapy internship?
2. Where should I apply for grad schools?
3. Where will I be going next year?
4. What if it is not ECU? What if its not even in my home state?

Although there are many unknowns in the my future im not worried. Im excited!!! Its an adventure worth having because I have many ideas on how God wants me to use my degree in Occupational Therapy (OT). I can not wait to see how I  will be used. 

One of the ideas I have is to be a full time missionary! I have always thought of being one. I love the concept of leaving this busy, material life and being fully submersed into helping others with God and the Good News on your heart, mind, and  mouth. Think about how that can change you! Consider the best way to learn a new language. Its not to take class for 1 hour 3 days a week. its by using and practicing what you leaned and learning from other native speakers that you retain truly learn the language and culture. Of course that is not to say I can not do that here. That is my goal till the summer is to be better at witnessing and simply talking about God to others. Im thinking on how easy it could actually be to simply mention Him. Someone on a skateboard rides by and says "hi how are you" "Im fine, how are you?" "Doing good." Then you mention something about his skateboard. Start a friendly conversation, mention something God has taught you... Oky now idk... Granted, im trying to make evangelizing like a mathematical formula. People are not math equations  and predictable. Do you put yourself in a box? Why should we put the entire human species in one... Well Either way I should not look at talking about God as a challenge. I have such a passion about God's love for me and for all of! Its so unreal, unexplainable and yet something blocks us from experiencing a kind of love your soul mate couldn't provide for you. That something is sin. Because God is perfect, we can easily understand why We are separated from Him (Think of how we try so hard to keep spaghetti sauce off of our nice white shirts). God, because He is so perfect, has the right to punish us for our sin but He also loves us so much that we provided us with a way out. God sent His perfect son Jesus to come and live with us dirty spaghetti sauce covered humans. Jesus lived a perfect, sinless life while hanging out with thieves, murders, poor, sick, outcasts and "the rich and famous." But how does Jesus help us stained t-shirts into being with God and not receiving the punishment we deserve?  Jesus was perfect, pure and could be with God. Jesus like God, loved us soooo much! He loved strangers more than himself. He knew the punishment that was in store for everyone, so he gave himself up to take that punishment for us. Jesus took God's wrath and the justice from us so that we too could be with God. We are able to have a real relationship with God and avoid His powerful anger and wrath. But Jesus did not stop there. Jesus rose from the dead and came back to life to prove that God is greater than sin and death. By believing in that Jesus took my sin from me so that I can be with God, I feel God's love, and I have his Holy Spirit to guide me. I want to live for Jesus and God because I know that this story is real. I know that God loves me more than I will know and I know that there are people out there who are missing out on such a caring, fatherly relationship that results in hope and joy! I want to be a full time missionary but maybe God is really showing me how to be a full time missionary here and now.... and how to truly put it into practice... 

Wow...this was unplanned (though I rarely have my blogs planned to begin with...)

Umm well another idea is to start disability ministries in a church near where ever God places me to work. I want to start one here in G-ville BUT school and the means of becoming an OT is hindering me from starting such a ministry. Mom keeps telling me that many doors will open for me when I get my OT degree and to be patient in serving God. She is right. As much as I would love to serve Him right now, I know that I would be even more helpful to others when I have my OT degree.

I will keep you better posted but it is past my bedtime (im not known as a night-owl)

Good Night!!